Last updateWed, 20 Sep 2017 9am

Senior Lifestyles

Wedding toast roasts bachelors

Illustration by Mary Burkhardt

Ah, spring! When young men’s fancies lightly turn to mortgages, SUVs and fond farewells to all-night poker parties. But not all young men. Let us give a moment’s thought to the plight of the also-rans – bachelors whose complacency has, once again, led to their comeuppance.

Wait ’til next year? This isn’t a game, you know. Or is it?

Following is a tribute – if you want to call it that – from my barrel of wedding toasts, this one not so subtly aimed at the guys still flying solo.

Bachelors’ Chagrin

or, Portrait of a Lovely Young Museum Curator on Her Wedding Day

This treasurer’s been on public


Within museums walled,

While ’round about her, so life


Works on those walls enthralled.

How blind we are to breathing


How glazed our fleeting gaze,

When we look past one such as


At pictures to appraise.

How could we miss the beauty

here –

As we sought perfection –

And yet applaud far lesser works

Housed in some collection?

Too late, this vision framed in


We deem unparalleled,

For she’s be, “from this day


Very… privately… held.

Bob Simon is a Los Altos resident. For more information, email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

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