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Last updateWed, 31 Aug 2016 4pm

Fighting words: No Shoes, Please

I live near Mountain View’s El Camino Hospital and often walk through a pocket of the neighborhood that visitors and employees occasionally use for convenient parking. When this occurs, the loitering car receives a (polite) handwritten note attached to its windshield reminding the driver that the cul-de-sac parking is for resident use only.

Recently, I noticed on the ground one of those signs on which the driver had written in response, “GO TO HELL. WE’RE CANCER PATIENTS.” Normally, I might have been amused, but nowadays I’m just not in the mood.


Taking a field trip: Haugh About That?

With my Barbie lunch box filled with extra treats and my play clothes freshly pressed, I headed to school, ready for a day of excitement. It wasn’t often that St. Charles Grammar School allowed its students’ free dress. It was even rarer to go on a field trip.

Game-changers: No Shoes, Please

I like to call them “game-changers” – those small but not insignificant instruments of grace and mercy that make life more manageable and comfortable. The obvious ones are things like reading glasses, a DVR and no-boil lasagna noodles. Others have proven to be of equal benefit, but at the time of purchase, I didn’t know they’d be such standouts.

Take, for example, my new microwave oven cleaning product, Angry Mama. She’s a plastic doll with fierce orange hair, a disapproving mouth and both fists sitting on her hips, which transforms her arms into angular, censorious handles. After you pour water and vinegar into her head, she takes a wrathful spin around your oven for seven minutes on high, softening and loosening any crud glued onto the interior surfaces of the microwave.

Bulk insanity: The Villaj Idiut

I went to Costco the other day, and I turned on my MapMyRun app to see how far I had gone.

This was a pretty modest trip, really. Some meat, milk, wine, water, vegetables, cereal. I couldn’t find one thing on this trip and had to backtrack once.

Silly me: Haugh About That?

When I was young, if someone labeled me stupid, my self-confidence would be ripped to shreds, leaving me feeling worthless and undesirable. But this time, I deserved to be called out.

On June 28, I went in for what was deemed a mere procedure on my knee: nothing major, nothing life-threatening, just a little tear in the meniscus. Having already undergone two hip replacements, I was sure my recovery would be easy-peasy.

TSA Precheck: A Piece of My Mind

My husband and I applied for TSA Precheck privileges two weeks ago. We had to do it in person at an H&R Block office in Santa Clara, with fingerprinting, passports and $85 each. My “Known Traveler” ID number showed up the next day on the TSA website, so my husband entered it for all the flights I am taking this summer, including ours to Washington, D.C., in the next two weeks. I’ll have TSA Precheck at all airport check-ins.

My husband’s “KT” number, however, was still “processing.” He called TSA and was told that this is typical, implying that most terrorists are men and thus they take longer to check out. The agent did say that there were no red flags on my husband’s profile.

Duplicitous brand-building: The Villaj Idiut

For anybody who thinks that Donald Trump actually wants to win this election and become the nation’s next president, you are fooling yourself.

Have you ever seen a presidential candidate less interested in moving to the White House than Trump, less engaged than he is in actually running this campaign?


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