Sun02012015

News

Foothill to offer four-year degree: Foothill aims to launch dental hygiene degree in fall 2016

Foothill to offer four-year degree: Foothill aims to launch dental hygiene degree in fall 2016


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Students enrolled in Foothill College’s two-year dental hygiene program, above, can soon earn a four-year bachelor’s degree for approximately $10,000.

Foothill-De Anza Community College District Chancellor Linda M. Th...

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Schools

Freestyle hosts exhibition at Computer Science Museum

Freestyle hosts exhibition at Computer Science Museum


Traci Newell/Town Crier
Mountain View High junior and Freestyle Academy student Radika Gupta, right, works with a fellow student during a WebAudio course this month.

For three periods a day, a small subset of students from Los Altos and Mountain Vi...

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Community

Museum explores Stanford, Valley connection

Museum explores Stanford, Valley connection


Courtesy of Julie Rose
The Los Altos History Museum’s “Symbiotic Superstars” event drew a crowd including, from left, “The Lure & the Legends” creator Nan Geschke, Stanford President John L. Hennessy, historian Leslie Berlin and Adobe Systems c...

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Comment

Good compromise on PE exemptions: Editorial

While “Deflategate” captures the national sports headlines, the local issue of physical education class exemptions for freshmen seems a much worthier sports topic for discussion.

The Mountain View Los Altos Union High School District Board of Truste...

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Special Sections

Your Home Brief

Filoli hosts bird exhibition

Filoli kicks off the 2015 season of art exhibitions in its Visitor and Education Center with “The Birds of America: Audubon Collection,” a selection of prints from Filoli’s Permanent Collection, Feb. 10...

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Business

Wine & beer lounge coming to First Street

Wine & beer lounge coming to First Street


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
The new wine and beer lounge Honcho heads to First Street, with a spring opening anticipated.

A cocktail lounge proposed for First Street has cleared its first hurdle – the Los Altos Planning and Transportation Comm...

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Books

"Fearless Genius" photos chart Silicon Valleys brain trust


Not every book needs pages and pages of words to tell a story – some do it through pictures.

“Fearless Genius: The Digital Revolution in Silicon Valley, 1985-2000” (Atria Books, 2014) by Doug Menuez features more than 100 photographs Menuez to...

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People

RUBY DOSHIM LAI

Ruby Doshim Lai was born on July 26, 1929 and passed away at home on January 10, 2015. A resident of Los Altos for over 50 years, Ruby is survived by her husband Bill; children Gwen, Tracy and Allyn; and grandchildren Kiyoshi and Misa.

Born on Mott ...

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Travel

Cuban photographer slated to appear at Foothill

Cuban photographer slated to appear at Foothill


Courtesy of Raúl Cañibano
Cuban photographer Raúl Cañibano is set to appear at Foothill College tonight. His work – including the image “Series: Guajira’s Land, Viñales, 2007,” right – is on display at the KCI Gallery t...

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Stepping Out

'Betrayal' at Pear

'Betrayal' at Pear


Ray Renati/Special to the Town Crier
The cast of Pear Avenue Theatre’s “Betrayal” includes Maryssa Wanlass, from left, Fred Pitts and William J. Brown III.

The Pear Avenue Theatre presents Harold Pinter’s investigation of modern relationships, “...

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Magazine

Tracing history on foot: Hidden Villa’s long hike

Tracing history on foot: Hidden Villa’s long hike


Campers on Hidden Villa’s Sierra Backpacking Trip study historical photos to measure how the land has changed and alternate serving as student leaders who guide the route of their three-week trek.

Amid the high-tech camps and programs of a Bay Area ...

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Who will protect the children from their parents?: Confronting Domestic Violence

What a series of unfortunate events for children in our county – and in our country – recently.

Veronica Gonzalez spanked her 12-year-old daughter hard enough with a wooden spoon to cause bruising. The beating was severe enough to prompt social workers to report her to the State Department of Justice’s child abuse database with a “substantiated” abuse determination. And a trial court judge upheld that determination.

Then the Sixth District Court of Appeal in San Jose reversed the child abuse determination made by the Santa Clara County Department of Social Services.

Why? One reason was because parents do have a right to impose physical discipline on their children (disturbingly referred to as a “privilege”), and the underlying hearings never addressed the existence of this right. The finding against the mother was, therefore, determined to have been made and upheld in proceedings that were fundamentally unfair.

However, the appeals court justified its ruling by other means: namely, that other forms of punishment like grounding and confiscating the daughter’s cellphone had failed, her behavior was worsening and the mother’s intent was to discipline, not harm, the child.

I am reminded of abusers who tell their wives as they beat them: I didn’t hit you that hard, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I wouldn’t

have to do this if you hadn’t said that/done that/stepped out of line, etc. The difference with adults is that they are told in court that there is no excuse for abuse – period.

What recourse does a child have with regard to violence perpetrated by his or her parents? And if the wooden spoon doesn’t work, what’s the next step? A strap? A whip? A fist?

Once you begin to incorporate violence into a relationship with someone you supposedly love, you have contaminated it and started to teach that violence and love go together. No matter how pure our motive, where did we ever get the notion that it was OK to beat our children with a wooden spoon?

What are we teaching our loved ones about healthy relationships and healthy ways to discipline when we hit? Are we not teaching them to equate love with violence?

That’s what Nick Ladany, dean of education and psychological counseling at Santa Clara University, said. Ladany claims that spanking is the “last resort of the incompetent. If we’re not competent as parents, then we do resort to violence.”

We learn what love is not just by words, but also by behaviors. How do we show love? A kiss, a hug, an embrace. How do we show its opposite? A blow, a beating, violence. That can’t also be love.

You can’t jam two mutually exclusive concepts together – love and violence – in a single word and call it “discipline.” Even toddlers are taught the rule: “No hitting. Use your words.”

We expect that parental figures will protect their children. When guardians fail, when courts rule unwisely, when parents lobby for the right to hit/hurt/bruise/do violence in the name of discipline, who will protect the children from their parents?

Ruth Patrick, M.A., is a domestic violence consultant with the Los Altos Community Foundation’s nonprofit WomenSV program, which received the 2013 award for Outstanding Community Service from the Santa Clara County Psychological Association. For more information, visit losaltoscf.org/womensv.

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