Fri05222015

News

Hilltop robbery suspects implicated in crimes across Bay Area

Hilltop robbery suspects implicated in crimes across Bay Area

The three Oakland men arrested in connection to the May 11 home invasion robbery of a Hilltop Drive home are under investigation for numerous additional crimes committed across the San Francisco Bay area, the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Office revea...

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Schools

Preschool matriarch steps down

Preschool matriarch steps down


Alicia Castro/Town Crier
Children’s Center Preschool Director Non Mead sits beside her granddaughter, Greta Germack, during Greta’s birthday celebration.

Non Mead is the quintessential grandmother. Wise and warm, she ties shoelaces with ...

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Community

No 'Love' for Facebook

No 'Love' for Facebook


COurtesy of TRU Love
Tru Love sent multiple messages to Facebook – and made calls to the media – before the company unlocked her account.

Tru Love’s name may be unusual, but she comes by it naturally.

If only Facebook saw it that way.

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Sports

Semi sweep

Semi sweep


Town Crier file photo
St. Francis High’s Steve Dinneen, rising up for the kill, posted 15 kills in Saturday’s CCS semifinal sweep of rival Bellarmine.

There was no letup in the Lancers. Although the St. Francis High boys volleyball team ...

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Comment

Statute of limitations: Haugh About That?

“I can’t believe he’d do this to me,” I cried hysterically. “After all we meant to each other.” Curling into a ball, torrential teenage tears melted my mascara as my entire world came crashing to an obliterated end...

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Special Sections

Cancer survivors march toward strength, hope via Relay For Life

Cancer survivors march toward strength, hope via Relay For Life


Alicia Castro/Town Crier
Cancer survivors Eileen Chun, left, and Marilyn Labetich build strength at Curves of Los Altos.

Two local women took steps toward cancer recovery by caring for themselves and celebrating alongside each other.

Eileen Chun and...

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Business

Repeat business: Répéter consignment celebrates 10 years on State Street

Repeat business: Répéter consignment celebrates 10 years on State Street


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
Kellee Breaux owns Répéter, the State Street women’s consignment boutique that celebrates a decade in business Saturday.

Kellee Breaux’s life is a triangle: The 36-year-old lives in Newark, teaches full time a...

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Books

People

EDITH MAY COOPER

EDITH MAY COOPER

September 20, 1908 – April 7, 2015

Edith Cooper died peacefully in her sleep on April 7th in Los Altos, California, at the age of 106, where she had been a resident for over 30 years.

She was predeceased by Frank, her husband and her 3 brothers B...

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Travel

Flying south for the winter: Antarctica trips are not just for the birds

Flying south for the winter: Antarctica trips are not just for the birds


Photos Courtesy of Dave Hadden
Los Altos residents Dave and Joan Hadden watched the scenery from the large boat and a smaller Zodiac.

Standing on the beach with hundreds of thousands of penguins is “the experience of a lifetime,” accord...

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Stepping Out

Bye bye 'Birds'

Bye bye 'Birds'


Ray Renati/Special to the Town Crier
“Birds of a Feather” stars Troy Johnson and Diane Tasca.

Pear Avenue Theatre’s world premiere of “Birds of a Feather” is set to run through Sunday in Mountain View.

The play is the third chapter in local pla...

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Spiritual Life

Mercifully in His grip: Exploring our true position in Christ

I recently read a wonderful analogy about our true position in Christ. It was shockingly contrary to the messages impressed upon me in church, but deeply rooted in the Bible. The analogy is that of child and a parent. If you have ever taken a small ...

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Magazine

Practice prudent pruning: Maintaining manzanita, ceanothus and toyon

Practice prudent pruning: Maintaining manzanita, ceanothus and toyon


tanya kucak/Special to the Town Crier
Shrub manzanitas are known for their sinuous mahogany trunks and branches. If the foliage hides the bark, prune selectively to open the center so that the bark is visible year-round. This Montara manzanita is ...

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Inside Mountain View

Civility Roundtable opens discussion on race, policing

With racially charged unrest shaking places like Ferguson, Mo., New York City and Baltimore, the Mountain View Human Relations Commission posed a question: “How can we prevent Ferguson from happening in Mountain View?”

Nearly 150 residen...

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Who will protect the children from their parents?: Confronting Domestic Violence

What a series of unfortunate events for children in our county – and in our country – recently.

Veronica Gonzalez spanked her 12-year-old daughter hard enough with a wooden spoon to cause bruising. The beating was severe enough to prompt social workers to report her to the State Department of Justice’s child abuse database with a “substantiated” abuse determination. And a trial court judge upheld that determination.

Then the Sixth District Court of Appeal in San Jose reversed the child abuse determination made by the Santa Clara County Department of Social Services.

Why? One reason was because parents do have a right to impose physical discipline on their children (disturbingly referred to as a “privilege”), and the underlying hearings never addressed the existence of this right. The finding against the mother was, therefore, determined to have been made and upheld in proceedings that were fundamentally unfair.

However, the appeals court justified its ruling by other means: namely, that other forms of punishment like grounding and confiscating the daughter’s cellphone had failed, her behavior was worsening and the mother’s intent was to discipline, not harm, the child.

I am reminded of abusers who tell their wives as they beat them: I didn’t hit you that hard, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I wouldn’t

have to do this if you hadn’t said that/done that/stepped out of line, etc. The difference with adults is that they are told in court that there is no excuse for abuse – period.

What recourse does a child have with regard to violence perpetrated by his or her parents? And if the wooden spoon doesn’t work, what’s the next step? A strap? A whip? A fist?

Once you begin to incorporate violence into a relationship with someone you supposedly love, you have contaminated it and started to teach that violence and love go together. No matter how pure our motive, where did we ever get the notion that it was OK to beat our children with a wooden spoon?

What are we teaching our loved ones about healthy relationships and healthy ways to discipline when we hit? Are we not teaching them to equate love with violence?

That’s what Nick Ladany, dean of education and psychological counseling at Santa Clara University, said. Ladany claims that spanking is the “last resort of the incompetent. If we’re not competent as parents, then we do resort to violence.”

We learn what love is not just by words, but also by behaviors. How do we show love? A kiss, a hug, an embrace. How do we show its opposite? A blow, a beating, violence. That can’t also be love.

You can’t jam two mutually exclusive concepts together – love and violence – in a single word and call it “discipline.” Even toddlers are taught the rule: “No hitting. Use your words.”

We expect that parental figures will protect their children. When guardians fail, when courts rule unwisely, when parents lobby for the right to hit/hurt/bruise/do violence in the name of discipline, who will protect the children from their parents?

Ruth Patrick, M.A., is a domestic violence consultant with the Los Altos Community Foundation’s nonprofit WomenSV program, which received the 2013 award for Outstanding Community Service from the Santa Clara County Psychological Association. For more information, visit losaltoscf.org/womensv.

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