Sat04252015

News

LAH resident killed in cycling accident

LAH resident killed in cycling accident

A longtime Los Altos Hills resident and philanthropist struck by a bicyclist Monday (April 20) while walking along Page Mill Road has died from the injuries she sustained.

Kathryn Green, 61, died a day after the accident, according to the Santa Clar...

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Schools

LASD Junior Olympics scheduled Saturday

LASD Junior Olympics scheduled Saturday


Town Crier File Photo
The Los Altos School District Junior Olympics are slated Saturday at Mountain View High School. District officials say the opening ceremonies, above, are always memorable.

Los Altos School District fourth- through sixth-grader...

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Community

Altruism, adventure in Africa: Los Altos couple relates experiences in new book

Altruism, adventure in Africa: Los Altos couple relates experiences in new book


Courtesy of Wendy Walleigh
Rick and Wendy Walleigh spent a year and a half in Swaziland and Kenya.

Los Altos residents Rick and Wendy Walleigh experienced long, successful high-tech careers. But retirement? No, it was time for an encore.

Leavin...

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Sports

Workout warriors

Workout warriors


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
Los Altos High gymnast Jessica Nelson soars by coach Youlee Lee during practice last week. Lee is a 2005 Los Altos High grad.

Some coaches would like to see their athletes work harder. Youlee Lee has the opposite problem ...

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Comment

Ending the debate: No Shoes, Please

In a general sense, everything is up for debate with me: What do I cook for dinner? Did I do the right thing? What color paint for the bedroom? Do I really want to go? Has the team improved? What difference does it make? Should I give him a call? Is...

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Special Sections

Fitness focus: No holds barred for Los Altos sisters

Fitness focus: No holds barred for Los Altos sisters


Photos Courtesy of Barre 3
Gillian Brotherson, kneeling at left, guides studio instructors through a workout at barre3 Los Altos.

Health is all about balance. That’s what two Los Altos natives learned as they navigated work, motherhood and welln...

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Business

Physical therapist brings business background to new Los Altos clinic

Physical therapist brings business background to new Los Altos clinic

Courtesy of Eliza Snow
Strive owner Robert Abrams, kneeling, runs a balance test.

With more than a dozen physical therapy clinics in Los Altos, one new business owner streamlined his approach in an effort to set his practice apart.

“I always wan...

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Books

People

CAPTAIN: CHARLES THOMAS MINOR

CAPTAIN: CHARLES THOMAS MINOR

Age 96

December 7, 1918  - March 28, 2015 

Chuck passed away peacefully in the home he built in Los Altos surrounded by his beautiful wife of 69 years, Bonnie, his two sons and their spouses, David Minor & Caryn Joe Pulliam; Steve &...

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Travel

Cuba libre: Local residents join mad rush of travelers

Cuba libre: Local residents join mad rush of travelers


Natalie Elefant/Special to the Town Crier
Los Altos resident Natalie Elefant noted the vibrant street performances as a traveler in Cuba.

The U.S. restored diplomatic relations with Cuba late last year, enabling Americans to import $100 worth of cig...

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Stepping Out

Stage fright

Stage fright


Joyce Goldschmid/Special to the Town Crier
“The Addams Family” stars, from left, Betsy Kruse Craig (as Morticia), Joey McDaniel (Uncle Fester) and Doug Santana (Gomez).

The Palo Alto Players production of “The Addams Family”...

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Spiritual Life

Magazine

Food for thought: Hidden Villa programs offer teens training in sustainability on the farm

Food for thought: Hidden Villa programs offer teens training in sustainability on the farm


/Town Crier It’s not all cute and cuddly for teens participating in the eight-week Animal Husbandry Apprenticeship program at Hidden Villa in Los Altos Hills. Mia Mosing of Palo Alto, left, and Sophia Jackson of Los Altos clean the pigpens – one of...

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Inside Mountain View

Up to the challenge: Local leaders unite to help at-risk youth

Up to the challenge: Local leaders unite to help at-risk youth


Courtesy of Challenge Team
Jeanette Freiberg, bottom of pile, has fun with family members. The Challenge Team named Freiberg, a student at Mountain View High School, its 2015 Youth Champion.

There’s an ongoing joke among members of the Challenge...

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Local mediators write book on 'Unexpected Gift' of conflict

Conflict is never pretty, but most people could learn a thing or two about resolving it from the new book “Conflict – The Unexpected Gift: Making the Most of Disputes in Life and Work” (iUniverse, 2013).

Written by two experienced local mediators, Jack Hamilton and Elisabeth Seaman, the book compiles useful tips that have proven effective over two decades of trial and error.

“We’re giving them the tools they can use in their own lives,” said Hamilton, who teaches at Stanford University and co-authored the book with fellow mediator and business partner Seaman.

Sharlene Gee and Hillary Freeman also contributed to the book.

As a volunteer mediator with the Palo Alto Mediation Program, Seaman facilitated one of the breakout groups in a December 2012 meeting to gather input on five facilities-sharing scenarios for Bullis Charter School and the Los Altos School District.

Hamilton regularly gives talks for local groups, including a book discussion earlier this year at BridgePoint at Los Altos. He also headed a training session for volunteer mediators with the Los Altos, Mountain View and Palo Alto mediation programs.

Both Hamilton and Seaman have served as volunteer and professional mediators for 20 years.

Conflict is “a result of unfounded assumptions about each other. It’s the assumptions that trigger the emotions,” Hamilton said.

The book introduces a “Ladder of Assumptions”: Step 1, Assumptions of the Facts; Step 2, Interpretations; Step 3, Motives; and Step 4, Generalizations.

“It’s a metaphor for how the human mind works,” Hamilton said.

Built into the book are methods for helping people identify and write their own ladders, he added.

“Some people see things as black or white,” Seaman said. “Things are more generally complicated than that.”

The first step to resolving conflict, Seaman said, is to “become aware of how our thinking processes work.”

Next comes something that people in general don’t do well – listen. The authors underline the importance of becoming an attentive listener. They offer a four-step process to improve communication: encourage dialogue by drawing the speaker out, clarify statements to understand more fully, restate to let the speaker know you’re listening and summarize to review what’s been said.

Good listening, they said, breaks down stereotypes and preconceived notions about the opposing party.

“When people come to mediation, they’re breathing fire,” Hamilton said. “(Mediation) enables disputants to get a sense over time of who that other person is.”

For instance, Hamilton said that because his educational background and experience was greater than Seaman’s, he figured her ideas would not be as good and thus more easily discounted.

“As long as I held her in that box, I would never have heard her good ideas,” he said.

Seaman pointed to a case between two brothers who had a conflict over property, and, more importantly, did not get along with one another. Repairing the brothers’ broken relationship took precedence before any agreement over property could be reached.

“What kind of relationship are you going to have when this (agreement) is over?” she asked the brothers.

Another four-word mantra the mediators espouse: Stop, Listen, Accept, Collaborate.

Hamilton said the book is “pretty much for anyone 15 or older. It’s full of case studies.”

Other helpful advice includes learning how to apologize effectively, finding humility and becoming more self-aware.

And the “Unexpected Gift” referenced in the title? That, according to the authors, is emerging from conflict a better person.

“There’s a tinge of idealism here,” Hamilton said, a bit tongue in cheek, of his reasons for compiling the book. “We’re trying to build world peace one person at a time.”

Hamilton is scheduled to teach a conflict resolution class Jan. 10 to March 7 at Avenidas in Palo Alto. For more information, call 289-5400.

“Conflict – The Unexpected Gift” is available for checkout at the Los Altos main library, 13 S. San Antonio Road. Los Altos Voices for Peace purchased and donated the book to the library.

To order the book and for more information, visit iuniverse.com.

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