Mon06292015

News

LAH council approves  Page Mill Road expansion

LAH council approves Page Mill Road expansion


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
The Los Altos Hills City Council endorsed a plan to widen the congested Page Mill Road to six lanes between the Interstate 280 interchange and Foothill Expressway.

Infamously congested Page Mill Road should be widened to ...

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Schools

Local muralist tells a story of young Los Altos at two schools

Local muralist tells a story of young Los Altos at two schools


Eliza Ridgeway/Town Crier
Los Altos muralist Morgan Bricca, above, created a work at Covington School commissioned by the Class of 2015.

Just as school ended this year, new color bloomed on two Los Altos campuses – public art projects commissi...

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Community

Los Altos girl out to 'squash' inequality: 10-year-old raises funds for female players with motto Equal pay for play

Los Altos girl out to 'squash' inequality: 10-year-old raises funds for female players with motto Equal pay for play


Courtesy of Lisa Bardin
Mika Bardin displays a certificate of participation she received at the 2015 U.S. Junior Squash Championships. Although Mika is not competing in the upcoming NetSuite Open Squash Championships, she is helping other female pl...

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Sports

Hurdling adversity

Hurdling adversity


courtesy of Nicole Goodwin
Ella Goodwin, hurdling, above, has come a long way since her early-childhood battle with leukemia.

While Nicole Goodwin is proud of daughter Ella’s athletic achievements, it’s not her skills on the soccer field...

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Comment

No confidence in civic center proposals: Editorial

Few Los Altos issues have become more convoluted than the development of the 18-acre Hillview civic center property. Most agree that the area, as currently configured, needs improvement. But nothing has happened in the nearly 10 years since serious d...

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Special Sections

Star-spangled manor: Orange Avenue home boasts Americana theme

Star-spangled manor: Orange Avenue home boasts Americana theme


Megan V. WInslow/Town Crier
Los Altos resident Pinky Whelan’s Orange Avenue home features a patriotic theme, evident in her living room decor, her historical collections and displays and her welcoming entrance.

Let’s hear it for the red...

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Business

Thai Silks shutters Los Altos store this month

Thai Silks shutters Los Altos store this month


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
After more than 50 years in business in downtown Los Altos, Thai Silks is closing up shop at 252 State St. by the end of the month. The store will continue to offer its inventory online and via phone.

A longtime downtown ...

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Books

People

ALAN FRAZIER KREMEN, MD, PHD

ALAN FRAZIER KREMEN, MD, PHD

Alan Frazier Kremen, MD, PhD, aged 68, loving father & surgeon, of Stockton peacefully passed away on June 13th, 2015.

Born in Minneapolis on December 17, 1946, he received a BA from Stanford University, 1968, a PhD in Philosophy from the Univ...

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Travel

Venetian spa offers ways to de-stress

Venetian spa offers ways to de-stress


Courtesy of The VEnetian
The HydroSpa in the Canyon Ranch SpaClub at The Venetian in Las Vegas offers a muscle-relaxing bath and radiant lounge chairs.

Vegas cab drivers usually ask if you won or lost as soon as you get in their vehicles. They assum...

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Stepping Out

'Town' closes down

'Town' closes down


Chris Peoples/Special to the Town Crier
Hope Cladwell (played by Krista Joy Serpa) and Bobby Strong (Lewis Rawlinson) get romantic during their duet in “Urinetown: The Musical.”

The Los Altos Stage Company production of “Urinetown: The Musical” ...

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Spiritual Life

Magazine

Living it up Older adults aim to age in place

Living it up Older adults aim to age in place


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
Local enthusiasts flock to the Los Altos Senior Center to play bocce ball. The center hosts informal games four days a week and occasional tournaments.

As baby boomers in Los Altos, Los Altos Hills and Mountain View nose...

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Inside Mountain View

Carrying the torch

Carrying the torch


Members of the Mountain View Police Department carry the Special Olympics torch as they run along El Camino Real between Sunnyvale and Palo Alto June 18. Members of the department participate in the relay annually to show their support for Spec...

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Local mediators write book on 'Unexpected Gift' of conflict

Conflict is never pretty, but most people could learn a thing or two about resolving it from the new book “Conflict – The Unexpected Gift: Making the Most of Disputes in Life and Work” (iUniverse, 2013).

Written by two experienced local mediators, Jack Hamilton and Elisabeth Seaman, the book compiles useful tips that have proven effective over two decades of trial and error.

“We’re giving them the tools they can use in their own lives,” said Hamilton, who teaches at Stanford University and co-authored the book with fellow mediator and business partner Seaman.

Sharlene Gee and Hillary Freeman also contributed to the book.

As a volunteer mediator with the Palo Alto Mediation Program, Seaman facilitated one of the breakout groups in a December 2012 meeting to gather input on five facilities-sharing scenarios for Bullis Charter School and the Los Altos School District.

Hamilton regularly gives talks for local groups, including a book discussion earlier this year at BridgePoint at Los Altos. He also headed a training session for volunteer mediators with the Los Altos, Mountain View and Palo Alto mediation programs.

Both Hamilton and Seaman have served as volunteer and professional mediators for 20 years.

Conflict is “a result of unfounded assumptions about each other. It’s the assumptions that trigger the emotions,” Hamilton said.

The book introduces a “Ladder of Assumptions”: Step 1, Assumptions of the Facts; Step 2, Interpretations; Step 3, Motives; and Step 4, Generalizations.

“It’s a metaphor for how the human mind works,” Hamilton said.

Built into the book are methods for helping people identify and write their own ladders, he added.

“Some people see things as black or white,” Seaman said. “Things are more generally complicated than that.”

The first step to resolving conflict, Seaman said, is to “become aware of how our thinking processes work.”

Next comes something that people in general don’t do well – listen. The authors underline the importance of becoming an attentive listener. They offer a four-step process to improve communication: encourage dialogue by drawing the speaker out, clarify statements to understand more fully, restate to let the speaker know you’re listening and summarize to review what’s been said.

Good listening, they said, breaks down stereotypes and preconceived notions about the opposing party.

“When people come to mediation, they’re breathing fire,” Hamilton said. “(Mediation) enables disputants to get a sense over time of who that other person is.”

For instance, Hamilton said that because his educational background and experience was greater than Seaman’s, he figured her ideas would not be as good and thus more easily discounted.

“As long as I held her in that box, I would never have heard her good ideas,” he said.

Seaman pointed to a case between two brothers who had a conflict over property, and, more importantly, did not get along with one another. Repairing the brothers’ broken relationship took precedence before any agreement over property could be reached.

“What kind of relationship are you going to have when this (agreement) is over?” she asked the brothers.

Another four-word mantra the mediators espouse: Stop, Listen, Accept, Collaborate.

Hamilton said the book is “pretty much for anyone 15 or older. It’s full of case studies.”

Other helpful advice includes learning how to apologize effectively, finding humility and becoming more self-aware.

And the “Unexpected Gift” referenced in the title? That, according to the authors, is emerging from conflict a better person.

“There’s a tinge of idealism here,” Hamilton said, a bit tongue in cheek, of his reasons for compiling the book. “We’re trying to build world peace one person at a time.”

Hamilton is scheduled to teach a conflict resolution class Jan. 10 to March 7 at Avenidas in Palo Alto. For more information, call 289-5400.

“Conflict – The Unexpected Gift” is available for checkout at the Los Altos main library, 13 S. San Antonio Road. Los Altos Voices for Peace purchased and donated the book to the library.

To order the book and for more information, visit iuniverse.com.

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