Wed04162014

News

City chips in $7,000 for SFMOMA installation

City chips in $7,000 for SFMOMA installation


Town Crier File Photo
The Los Altos City Council earmarked $7,000 for the purchase of Chris Johanson’s artwork.

The city of Los Altos will contribute $7,000 toward the purchase of a $28,000 art installation featured in the San Francisco Museum...

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Schools

LASD students celebrate service learning

LASD students celebrate service learning


Courtesy of Sandra McGonagle
We Day, held March 26 at Oracle Arena in Oakland, exhorts students in the Los Altos School District to effect positive change.

More than 150 Los Altos School District student leaders joined 16,000 Bay Area students to ce...

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Community

Film career launches with Cannes screening

Film career launches with Cannes screening


Courtesy of Zachary Ready
Los Altos native Zachary Ready, front left, and co-director Andrew Cathey, right, celebrate their Campus MovieFest awards.

After learning the art of filmmaking as a child in the front yard of his family’s Los Altos hom...

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Sports

Reeling Panthers look to get rolling again

Reeling Panthers look to get rolling again


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Pinewood School senior Kevin Tracy pitches in a game against Westmoor, the first of two losses by the Panthers last week.

Pinewood School baseball coach Chad Morin knows exactly what his team must do in the second half of...

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Comment

Now is the time to expand parking: Editorial

Just a few short years ago, vacancies dotted downtown Los Altos. Property owners had a hard time attracting businesses because there was a shortage of customers. That is no longer true. Now, the cry is: Where are my customers going to park?

The city...

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Business

Local realtor honored for volunteer efforts

Local realtor honored for volunteer efforts


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Coldwell Banker recently recognized realtor Kim Copher, right, for her philanthropic efforts. Copher and colleague Alan Russell, left, volunteer at Reach Potential Movement, where they collect books for its Bookshelf in ...

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Books

Local Author Spotlight

In an effort to support authors from Los Altos, Los Altos Hills and Mountain View, many self-published, Book Buzz periodically spotlights their books and offers information on where to purchase them. Local authors are encouraged to submit brief summa...

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People

Noteworthy

RotaCare honors local volunteer

RotaCare Bay Area honored Jim Cochran of the RotaCare Mountain View Free Medical Clinic with the Outstanding Clinic Volunteer Award April 10 for his commitment to RotaCare’s mission of providing free medical care to t...

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Travel

Sausalito: Explore the historical city with world-class views

Sausalito: Explore the historical city with world-class views


Eren Göknar/ Special to the Town Crier
Sausalito offers panoramic views of the San Francisco Bay. A number of companies schedule boat tours that sail past Angel Island and Alcatraz.

On a clear day, Sausalito offers spectacular views of the San Franc...

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Stepping Out

Western Ballet performs this weekend  at Smithwick Theatre in Los Altos Hills

Western Ballet performs this weekend at Smithwick Theatre in Los Altos Hills


Courtesy of Alexi Zubiria
Western Ballet’s “La Fille Mal Gardée” features Alison Share and Maykel Solas. The production runs Friday and Saturday at Foothill College

Western Ballet is slated to perform “La Fille Mal GardéeR...

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Spiritual Life

Magazine

A yoga class a day keeps the stress away

A yoga class a day keeps the stress away


Van Houtte/Town Crier Yoga of Los Altos hosts a variety of classes, including Strong Flow Vinyasa, above, taught by Doron Hanoch. Yin Yoga instructor Janya Wongsopa guides a student in the practice, below.

It’s nearly 9 a.m. on a Monday mornin...

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Watch for signs of abuse as students return to school this fall

It’s hard to believe that another summer has come and gone, but it’s that time to prepare the classrooms, stock up on school supplies and add a few new pieces to the back-to-school wardrobe.

There’s something else we should all be aware of as children head back to school – signs that one of them may be living in a home where the dinner conversation isn’t about his or her day at camp, summer job or trip to France.

Some students returning from summer vacation may have had very little in the way of “vacation.” They will have spent their days hiding in their bedroom, or afraid to go home at all, walking on eggshells, speaking in whispers, wondering what mood they would find their parent in that day.

In our affluent area, it’s hard to reach out for support when things go wrong. Sometimes a parent suffers in silence for years – along with the children – before gathering the strength, courage and information he or she needs to break the silence. A child can go for years – decades even – living in pain and silence, waiting until the lights go out and everyone’s gone to bed to let the tears out.

Yet by day, who would ever know? Some children are better actors than others. They do their homework, play the piano, join the soccer team, babysit – all the things others do by day. Who would guess they were leading a double life, living like prisoners in their own homes?

Just because children exhibit problem behavior doesn’t mean they are being abused. And just because they are performing well in school doesn’t mean they are not being abused.

That’s what makes it difficult to help the ones who are living in homes with domestic violence. Like their abused parent, children are used to covering things up, pretending everything is all right, keeping up appearances. They have learned that adults, even the ones closest to them, can’t always be trusted to keep them safe.

Signs of abuse

What can we do when it’s so hard to figure out the truth, and they are so afraid to share it?

• Look for signs of suffering. We can ask children if something is going on at home. Are they worried or scared? Would they like to talk about it? We can let them know we are there to help.

• Is a child having trouble out on the playground? Is it hard to socialize? Does he or she seem to be a frequent target of bullying? Is he or she the bully? Sometimes behavior problems are a result of learning disabilities, emotional problems or peer influences, but sometimes children are imitating behavior they have witnessed at home.

• Does the child have trouble concentrating in class or sitting still? Is he or she quiet but prone to daydreaming or disruptive and acting out in class?

Therapists report that some of the symptoms of trauma can resemble those of Attention Deficit Disorder. For example, some children may have trouble concentrating, appear to “space out,” are irritable and struggle with impulse control, moodiness and school and/or peer problems. Sometimes children have trouble concentrating not because they suffer from ADD, but because they are being distracted by thoughts, memories and flashbacks of trauma and chaos in the home. Children can suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, too, just like war veterans and adult victims of domestic violence.

• Are there signs that a child is engaging in self-destructive behaviors like cutting? Is he or she wearing long-sleeved shirts in hot weather? Are there unexplained bruises? Is he or she accident prone? Sometimes there is a story behind the story.

• Is the child experimenting with drugs or alcohol? Sometimes he or she is just experimenting, falling in with the wrong crowd or dealing with a personal issue or loss. Other times he or she may be self-medicating to soften the impact of life at home.

• Is the child dressing in an unusual way? Sometimes he or she is simply expressing him- or herself or trying out new things, but other times clothing or hairstyle is a way of expressing what he or she cannot or dare not say.

Reporting abuse

Once you suspect abuse in the home, what can the average adult, teacher, school staff member, coach or minister do to help when families fall apart and the very people who should most protect their children don’t – or can’t?

A child expressing symptoms is usually not enough to report suspected abuse. Usually something more concrete is required, like a bruise, mark, statement or clear sexual acting out that appears to be highly indicative of sexual abuse.

• The Community Health Awareness Council in Mountain View and the Bill Wilson Center and YWCA domestic violence program in San Jose provide counseling services for children, teens and families.

• If you see a bruise or clear evidence that the child is directly experiencing abuse, call the police or Child Protective Services – anonymously, if you prefer.

If you are a mandated reporter, you must report your suspicions. Failure to report is a misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine or greater. There may also be civil liability.

• Talk with the child and let him or her know that you are there and that you care. Validate his or her experience. Sometimes it only takes one person to bear witness and help a child understand that what he or she is experiencing is not normal. Discuss what healthy love looks like. Do some simple breathing or relaxation exercises with the child to teach him or her how to calm down when his or her world seems to be falling apart.

When you ask if something is going on at home, children may not tell you the truth, but somewhere inside, they will know that someone has heard them, seen them and validated them and that they are no longer alone.

And that can make all the difference.

Ruth Patrick is a domestic violence consultant with the Los Altos Community Foundation’s nonprofit Women-of-Means Support Network, Silicon Valley. For more information, call 996-2200 or visit losaltoscf.org/womensv.

Reporting abuse

If you suspect a child is being abused, call:

• Child Protective Services: 493-1186

• Los Altos Police Department: 947-2770

• Childhelp National Abuse Hotline: (800) 442-4453

If the signs are more subtle but you suspect that a child is in emotional distress and may benefit from counseling, free and sliding-scale-cost services are available for children, teens and families:

• Bill Wilson Center: (408) 243-0222

• Community Health Awareness Council: 965-2020

• YWCA: (800) 572-2782

Other resources:

• YWCA’s Domestic Violence Support Network: (800) 572-2782

• Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence: (408) 279-2962

• Community Overcoming Relationship Abuse: (800) 300-1080

• Teen 24-7 Line: (888) 247-7717

• Teen Domestic Violence Hotline: (866) 331-9474

• WomenSV: 996-2200

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