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News

Electrical shutdown scheduled today, tomorrow

PG&E is installing new electrical service to the 400 Main St. development project today, which will require the temporary interruption of electric services to several businesses located on First, Main and State streets in downtown Los Altos. PG&a...

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Schools

Community support pays dividends

Community support pays dividends


As a recent cover story in The New York Times Magazine revealed, getting low-income students into college is not enough to close the achievement/income gap. The percentage of low-income students entering college who actually earn a degree lags far ...

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Community

War veteran to visit D.C. memorial on Honor Flight

War veteran to visit D.C. memorial on Honor Flight


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Los Altos resident and World War II vet Earl Pampeyan is preparing for an Honor Flight trip to Washington, D.C., next month.

Los Altos resident Earl Pampeyan is scheduled to fly to Washington, D.C., next month to vis...

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Sports

Making a splash

Making a splash


Courtesy of Clarke Weatherspoon
Stanford Water Polo Club’s under-14 boys team earned the bronze medal at the Junior Olympics. Front row, from left: Corey Tanis, Larsen Weigle, Nathan Puentes, Walker Seymour, Alan Viollier and Jayden Kunwar. B...

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Comment

Whom can you trust?: Haugh About That?

Waving my pink poodle skirt with all the fervor of a matador preparing to tease a raging bull, I blinked my 20-year-old eyes and gave a come-hither look to indicate, “I’m ready!” Little did I know that the blind trust I had in this ...

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Special Sections

Getting right by eating right: PAMF doctor's book addresses South Asian health risks

Getting right by eating right: PAMF doctor's book addresses South Asian health risks


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Dr. Ronesh Sinha, a physician at Palo Alto Medical Foundation, promotes healthful living among the South Asian population. His new book, “The South Asian Health Solution,” includes nutritious recipes.

When you think o...

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Business

From Google to First Street: Massage therapist sets up studio in downtown Los Altos

From Google to First Street: Massage therapist sets up studio in downtown Los Altos


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Upuia Ahkiong is slated to open Kua Body Studios next month at 106 First St. Ahkiong is sharing space with Evolve Classical Pilates.

A massage therapist with ties to Google Inc. is slated to open a new – and shared...

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Books

"Jack London" chronicles author's adventurous life


Much has been written about American author Jack London, primarily known for his early-20th-century Western adventure novels, including the classics “White Fang” and “The Call of the Wild.”

In Earle Labor’s biography of the literary icon, “Jac...

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People

TIMOTHY WARREN WATSON (TIM)

TIMOTHY WARREN WATSON (TIM)

Born June 2, 1935, died peacefully on August 11, at home in Mountain View, surrounded by his family. He died of complications of Parkinson’s Disease after a courageous 15-year battle.

Tim was the beloved husband of 55 years to his college sweethea...

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Travel

Bergama bound: A visit to newest World Heritage site

Bergama bound: A visit to newest World Heritage site


Photo Eren GÖknar/ Special to the Town Crier
The amphitheater in Turkey’s ancient city of Pergamon, now known as Bergama, overlooks the Bakirçay River valley, left. The city’s ruins also include the Temple of Trajan.

It was 90 F during t...

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Stepping Out

TheatreWorks offers 'Spoonful' of drama beginning this week

TheatreWorks offers 'Spoonful' of drama beginning this week


Kevin Berne/Special to the Town Crier
Three strangers – “Chutes & Ladders” (Anthony J. Haney, left), Odessa (Zilah Mendoza, center) and “Orangutan” (Anna Ishida, right) – come together in an online support group in TheatreWorks’ regional premie...

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Spiritual Life

Spiritual Briefs

Meditation group meets at Foothills Congregational

A Weekly Meditation Practice group meets 7-8:15 a.m. Tuesdays at Foothills Congregational Church, 461 Orange Ave., Los Altos.

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Magazine

Festival features fun for everyone

Festival features fun for everyone


TOWN CRIER FILE PHOTO
The Los Altos Arts & Wine Festival boasts more than 375 craft and arts booths.

This weekend’s 35th annual Los Altos Arts & Wine Festival promises to be jam-packed with fun activities for just about everyone. The eve...

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The death of a friendship: Other Voices

What makes a best friend? Perhaps it’s someone you speak with on a regular basis or someone you have coffee with once a week. Maybe it’s someone you go out with or the person you seek out when you are having a bad day.

When you begin to build a friendship with someone, is there a point when you realize that this person is becoming your best friend? Would you allow the development of that relationship to continue if you knew that it could someday end and bring sorrow to your happy life? I wouldn’t. And I haven’t. Except for the time when I didn’t see it coming.

My sixth-grader, by her own proclamation, has a new best friend every year, depending on who is in her class. What’s interesting though, is that she still belongs to a core group of girls she played with in kindergarten. Every year they get together for each other’s birthday parties. They have known each other longer than they’ve known their current best friend, so is longevity of a friendship not a criterion for best friendship?

My best friend was someone who gradually became an important person in my life. We communicated on a regular basis. We had coffee once in a while and would hang out together at social events and vent when we had a bad day. But I think the main reason this person became my best friend was because we seemed to just “get” each other.

I knew that this person had become a part of my life and that we would be friends forever.

Sadly, I was mistaken. I remember the day the downward spiral of this friendship began and I knew it was just a matter of time until the flatline appeared.

It’s been a very painful process, the dying friendship. I think of things throughout the day and I turn to my various communication devices to tell something that only my best friend would understand (because it takes years to develop that code that best friends speak) and I have to stop myself, because I know that it’s no longer OK to type and hit the send button.

I try to reach out, but every conversation we have is awkward and silent.

My good intentions to rectify what has gone terribly wrong turn into strands of frustration that make the tangled mess even worse. And while my friend claims to miss me, and our friendship as well, this seems to be quite clearly a case where too much damage has been done.

When I was a child, I remember watching the movie “The Way We Were” with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. I remember thinking that they should just give each other a big hug and say I love you and then they would stop fighting. To a child, it’s that easy.

I so badly want my friend back. But, while the child in me still believes that it would be easy enough to hug and make up, the adult in me understands it isn’t that easy.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful marriage and beautiful, happy children. My days are filled with activities and projects for which I am passionate, and I know I can count on help from my good friends if ever needed.

Why then, has the deletion of this one person from my life been so difficult for me?

My advice to myself would be to get a life and move on. Well, I do have a life, but threaded through all the tiny holes in my wonderfully happy life was that friendship with that particular person. The thread has now been severed and removed, and my tightly woven, happy life has become a little undone.

So is my daughter on the right track? Is it best to let your friends pass in and out of your life? Or can people really have a best friend and maintain that relationship for life?

I know the latter is possible, but the former sounds safer.

I’m looking at this past friendship as an experience. I still have a modicum of hope that this friendship can be revived, but I’m sure that at some point, I’ll need to pull the plug. In the meantime, I have laundry to do.

Deborah Rockey is a Los Altos resident.

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