Fri12262014

News

Merry spirits: Traditional holiday drinks and memories that surround them

Merry spirits: Traditional holiday drinks and memories that surround them


Christine Moore/Special to the Town Crier
Town Crier columnist Christine Moore’s holiday drink menu includes her take on the Moscow Mule, the Bucking Reindeer.

Growing up, our dogs were always outside dogs. We lived in the country, which made...

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Schools

Santa Rita visits The Terraces

Santa Rita visits The Terraces


Susie Greenwald’s third-grade class at Santa Rita School has a special relationship with The Terraces at Los Altos, a senior retirement community. The class visits the center once a month to share quality time with the residents, above. The s...

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Community

Veterinarians offer advice for keeping pets safe over holidays

Veterinarians offer advice for keeping pets safe over holidays


Traci Newell/Town Crier
The holidays present a number of hazards for pets. Be sure to secure electrical cords to keep playful cats at bay.

During the holidays – when people tend to focus more on family and food – pets are often overlooked. But...

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Sports

Owls getting a lot out of a little

Owls getting a lot out of a little


In a typical season for the Foothill College women’s basketball team, coach Jody Craig wouldn’t be satisfied with a 7-4 start and No. 8 ranking in Northern California.

But this isn’t a typical season. Craig had just a few weeks ...

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Comment

Holiday cheer: No Shoes, Please

Admittedly, the holidays are not my favorite time of year. I don’t like sharing streets and parking lots with a zillion other people who need to get their shopping done. I don’t like being reminded by a holiday doomsday countdown clock h...

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Special Sections

Looking Ahead

Looking Ahead


s in line to be mayor of Mountain View in 2015.

Mountain View anticipates the following changes in 2015:

• Beginning Jan. 1, Mountain View City Councilmembers will receive a raise to $1,000 per month as a result of the passage of Measure A in...

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Business

Pharmacy headed to 400 Main St.

Pharmacy headed to 400 Main St.


Ellie Van houtte/Town Crier
Pharmaca Integrative Pharmacy is scheduled to open a new store in the Jeffrey A. Morris Group’s 400 Main St. project. The new location will open in late February.

A new tenant is slated to call the recently complet...

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Books

Gawande's

Gawande's "Being Mortal" proves an important book on aging


Books about death and dying are usually not on my list of “must reads.”

I couldn’t resist, however, the best-selling “Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End” (Metropolitan Books, 2014) by Atul Gawande.

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People

MERLYN "DALE" STUBBS

Merlyn "Dale" Stubbs, a 51 year resident of Los Altos Hills, passed away on December 15, 2014.

Dale was born to Harry and Anna Stubbs in Americus, Kansas on February 10, 1926.

When Dale was 9 years old his father, a carpenter, suffered a fatal hear...

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Travel

South Tahoe renovations enhance off-mountain seasonal fun

As any enthusiast knows well, there is more to the enjoyment of winter sports than skiing or snowboarding.

While many winter resorts make minor upgrades each season, the off-mountain attractions and amenities can be as enticing as the activities on ...

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Stepping Out

'Starcatcher' runs until Jan. 3 in PA

'Starcatcher' runs until Jan. 3 in PA


Kevin Berne/Special to the Town Crier
Adrienne Walters stars as Molly and Tim Homsley portrays Peter in the TheatreWorks production of “Peter and the Starcatcher,” playing through Jan. 3 at Palo Alto’s Lucie Stern Theatre.

TheatreWorks’ producti...

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Spiritual Life

The good news: Christmas means the long wait is over

Ah, Christmas! The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, the presents are set to be given and received, and preparations are underway to be with family.

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Magazine

Christmas At Our House home tour celebrates 26 years

Christmas At Our House home tour celebrates 26 years


Courtesy of Christopher Stark
Homes on the St. Francis High School Women’s Club’s Christmas at Our House Holiday Home Tour showcase a variety of architectural styles.

The days grow short on sunshine but long on nostalgia as the holidays approach...

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The death of a friendship: Other Voices

What makes a best friend? Perhaps it’s someone you speak with on a regular basis or someone you have coffee with once a week. Maybe it’s someone you go out with or the person you seek out when you are having a bad day.

When you begin to build a friendship with someone, is there a point when you realize that this person is becoming your best friend? Would you allow the development of that relationship to continue if you knew that it could someday end and bring sorrow to your happy life? I wouldn’t. And I haven’t. Except for the time when I didn’t see it coming.

My sixth-grader, by her own proclamation, has a new best friend every year, depending on who is in her class. What’s interesting though, is that she still belongs to a core group of girls she played with in kindergarten. Every year they get together for each other’s birthday parties. They have known each other longer than they’ve known their current best friend, so is longevity of a friendship not a criterion for best friendship?

My best friend was someone who gradually became an important person in my life. We communicated on a regular basis. We had coffee once in a while and would hang out together at social events and vent when we had a bad day. But I think the main reason this person became my best friend was because we seemed to just “get” each other.

I knew that this person had become a part of my life and that we would be friends forever.

Sadly, I was mistaken. I remember the day the downward spiral of this friendship began and I knew it was just a matter of time until the flatline appeared.

It’s been a very painful process, the dying friendship. I think of things throughout the day and I turn to my various communication devices to tell something that only my best friend would understand (because it takes years to develop that code that best friends speak) and I have to stop myself, because I know that it’s no longer OK to type and hit the send button.

I try to reach out, but every conversation we have is awkward and silent.

My good intentions to rectify what has gone terribly wrong turn into strands of frustration that make the tangled mess even worse. And while my friend claims to miss me, and our friendship as well, this seems to be quite clearly a case where too much damage has been done.

When I was a child, I remember watching the movie “The Way We Were” with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. I remember thinking that they should just give each other a big hug and say I love you and then they would stop fighting. To a child, it’s that easy.

I so badly want my friend back. But, while the child in me still believes that it would be easy enough to hug and make up, the adult in me understands it isn’t that easy.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful marriage and beautiful, happy children. My days are filled with activities and projects for which I am passionate, and I know I can count on help from my good friends if ever needed.

Why then, has the deletion of this one person from my life been so difficult for me?

My advice to myself would be to get a life and move on. Well, I do have a life, but threaded through all the tiny holes in my wonderfully happy life was that friendship with that particular person. The thread has now been severed and removed, and my tightly woven, happy life has become a little undone.

So is my daughter on the right track? Is it best to let your friends pass in and out of your life? Or can people really have a best friend and maintain that relationship for life?

I know the latter is possible, but the former sounds safer.

I’m looking at this past friendship as an experience. I still have a modicum of hope that this friendship can be revived, but I’m sure that at some point, I’ll need to pull the plug. In the meantime, I have laundry to do.

Deborah Rockey is a Los Altos resident.

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