Wed09172014

News

Meet the Mountain View City Council candidates

Meet the Mountain View City Council candidates


Nine candidates have filed to run for three open seats on the Mountain View City Council in the Nov. 4 election – none of them incumbents. The Town Crier asked them to introduce themselves to readers in the following Q&A format. We knew the...

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Schools

LASD committee looks to rank campus improvement projects

LASD committee looks to rank campus improvement projects


Traci Newell/Town Crier
The Los Altos School District’s newly expanded Facilities Advisory Committee met for the first time last week. The 28-member committee’s first task is to prioritize campus improvement projects.

The Los Altos Scho...

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Community

Sports

New-look Lancers find their footing

New-look Lancers find their footing


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
St. Francis High’s Jenna Adams, left, and Carly Deale attempt to bump the ball Friday night. The juniors combined for 28 kills.

This year’s St. Francis High girls volleyball team faintly resembles last season’s squad ...

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Special Sections

MV Whisman teachers cite low pay

MV Whisman teachers cite low pay


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
An estimated 75 supporters of higher teacher pay turned out for the Sept. 4 Mountain View Whisman School District board meeting.

Teachers, trustees and administrators are recovering from a dramatic Mountain View Whism...

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Business

Skin rejuvenation studio joins Rancho

Skin rejuvenation studio joins Rancho


Ellie Van Houtte/Town Crier
Esthetician Marjan Kashi showcases one of the treatment rooms at her new studio, Pure Serenity Skincare at Rancho Shopping Center. Kashi provides services including microdermabrasion and various light and heat energy the...

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Books

A woman's perspective on the Greatest Generation

A woman's perspective on the Greatest Generation


During World War II, Virgilia Short Witzel, a young mother and U.S. Navy officer’s wife, grappled on the home front in Menlo Park with wartime rationing, shortages and loneliness. During the ensuing Cold War, she experienced adventure and misadventur...

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People

JERALD (JERRY) NELSON CHRISTIANSEN

JERALD (JERRY) NELSON CHRISTIANSEN

Resident of San Jose and Los Altos, California

July 21, 1931 to August 4, 2014

Born in Arimo, Idaho, to Jerald Emmett and Rebecca Henderson Nelson Christiansen. Raised in Davis and Riverside, California, with summers in Downey, Idaho, and in Loga...

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Travel

LA photographer spends a night with cranes – and moose – in Alaska

LA photographer spends a night with cranes – and moose – in Alaska


Sandy Powell/Special to the Town Crier
Los Altos resident and bird photographer Sandy Powell recently visited Homer, Alaska, to photograph Sandhill cranes, below. While there, Powell also encountered moose, left.

Los Altos resident Sandy Powell, a...

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Stepping Out

Pear puts on a pair of plays

Pear puts on a pair of plays


J. Smith/Special to the Town Crier
Dan Kapler (as Teddy) and Betsy Kruse Craig (Trish) star in Pear Avenue Theatre’s “House.”

The Pear Avenue Theatre production of two interlocking comedies by Alan Ayckbourn – “House&...

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Spiritual Life

Back to Church Sunday offers opportunity to recommit

The children in Los Altos are back to school, and I can still hear parents cheering. Summer is officially over, even if the calendar doesn’t quite think so.

Parents have attended Back to School nights to meet their children’s teachers. B...

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Magazine

Los Altos Hills home showcases resort-inspired living

Los Altos Hills home showcases resort-inspired living


Courtesy of Spectrum Interior Design
In place of a more traditional fireplace, this modern living room features a linear-flame firebox that emits heat while offering a sculpturelike design element.

After traveling the world and visiting a host...

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The death of a friendship: Other Voices

What makes a best friend? Perhaps it’s someone you speak with on a regular basis or someone you have coffee with once a week. Maybe it’s someone you go out with or the person you seek out when you are having a bad day.

When you begin to build a friendship with someone, is there a point when you realize that this person is becoming your best friend? Would you allow the development of that relationship to continue if you knew that it could someday end and bring sorrow to your happy life? I wouldn’t. And I haven’t. Except for the time when I didn’t see it coming.

My sixth-grader, by her own proclamation, has a new best friend every year, depending on who is in her class. What’s interesting though, is that she still belongs to a core group of girls she played with in kindergarten. Every year they get together for each other’s birthday parties. They have known each other longer than they’ve known their current best friend, so is longevity of a friendship not a criterion for best friendship?

My best friend was someone who gradually became an important person in my life. We communicated on a regular basis. We had coffee once in a while and would hang out together at social events and vent when we had a bad day. But I think the main reason this person became my best friend was because we seemed to just “get” each other.

I knew that this person had become a part of my life and that we would be friends forever.

Sadly, I was mistaken. I remember the day the downward spiral of this friendship began and I knew it was just a matter of time until the flatline appeared.

It’s been a very painful process, the dying friendship. I think of things throughout the day and I turn to my various communication devices to tell something that only my best friend would understand (because it takes years to develop that code that best friends speak) and I have to stop myself, because I know that it’s no longer OK to type and hit the send button.

I try to reach out, but every conversation we have is awkward and silent.

My good intentions to rectify what has gone terribly wrong turn into strands of frustration that make the tangled mess even worse. And while my friend claims to miss me, and our friendship as well, this seems to be quite clearly a case where too much damage has been done.

When I was a child, I remember watching the movie “The Way We Were” with Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford. I remember thinking that they should just give each other a big hug and say I love you and then they would stop fighting. To a child, it’s that easy.

I so badly want my friend back. But, while the child in me still believes that it would be easy enough to hug and make up, the adult in me understands it isn’t that easy.

Fortunately, I have a wonderful marriage and beautiful, happy children. My days are filled with activities and projects for which I am passionate, and I know I can count on help from my good friends if ever needed.

Why then, has the deletion of this one person from my life been so difficult for me?

My advice to myself would be to get a life and move on. Well, I do have a life, but threaded through all the tiny holes in my wonderfully happy life was that friendship with that particular person. The thread has now been severed and removed, and my tightly woven, happy life has become a little undone.

So is my daughter on the right track? Is it best to let your friends pass in and out of your life? Or can people really have a best friend and maintain that relationship for life?

I know the latter is possible, but the former sounds safer.

I’m looking at this past friendship as an experience. I still have a modicum of hope that this friendship can be revived, but I’m sure that at some point, I’ll need to pull the plug. In the meantime, I have laundry to do.

Deborah Rockey is a Los Altos resident.

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