06242016Fri
Last updateFri, 24 Jun 2016 5pm

News

LASD trustee submits resignation

Los Altos School District Trustee Tammy Logan announced at the June 13 board meeting her intention to resign from the board.

Logan, who has served on the board for six years, cited personal reasons for her departure and added that she is resigning...

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Schools

Kick, Lead, and Dream marks 10 years of inspiring youth

Kick, Lead, and Dream marks 10 years of inspiring youth


Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
Campers at the Kick, Lead, and Dream summer camp pile on their coach, bottom, in green shirt. The relationships among campers and their coaches is a special element of the camp, which encourages positivity, leadership and...

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Community

Free summer concerts on tap Thursdays in Los Altos, Mtn. View

Free summer concerts on tap Thursdays in Los Altos, Mtn. View


Courtesy of the Peelers’ Facebook page
The Peelers, shown here in action, have the distinction of being scheduled to play at both the Los Altos and Mountain View summer concert series.

The warm air will be crackling with the sounds of live music...

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Letters to the Editor

Land purchase is best option for school district

The Los Altos School District Board of Trustees made a decision to pursue the purchase of an additional school site at its June 13 board meeting.

While we are excited about the possibilities for an ...

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Business

Beauty for the boardroom: Los Altos startup styles for work, after hours

Beauty for the boardroom: Los Altos startup styles for work, after hours


Courtesy of BFab
The Los Altos-based BFab app builds on Silicon Valley singularities to style everything from participants in an Indian wedding, above, to business leaders going on camera.

Los Altos resident Sharon Cimring met business partner Margo...

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People

DR. BILL B. MAY

DR. BILL B. MAY

September 2, 1935 – June 6, 2016 Los Altos Hills 

Bill Bruce May, beloved husband, father, and grandfather, passed away peacefully at age 80 on June 6th, 2016, with his family at his side. He was born in Sturgis, South Dakota to parents John ...

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News

LASD trustee submits resignation

Los Altos School District Trustee Tammy Logan announced at the June 13 board meeting her intention to resign from the board.

Logan, who has served on the board for six years, cited personal reasons for her departure and added that she is resigning at this time so that voters in November can selec...

Readmore

Business

Beauty for the boardroom: Los Altos startup styles for work, after hours

Beauty for the boardroom: Los Altos startup styles for work, after hours

Courtesy of BFab
The Los Altos-based BFab app builds on Silicon Valley singularities to style everything from participants in an Indian wedding, above, to business leaders going on camera.

Los Altos resident Sharon Cimring met business partner Margo Myers through their teenage daughters. Cimring ha...

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Sports

Hills golfer wins division at Lemoore Junior Open

Sophie Siminoff of Los Altos Hills won the girls 15-18 title and finished second overall at the Kyle Simonson-Lemoore Junior Open last week.

The 16-year-old beat Clovis’ Morgan Polley by three strokes at the two-day tournament, held June 13 and 14 at Lemoore Golf Course.

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Community

Free summer concerts on tap Thursdays in Los Altos, Mtn. View

Free summer concerts on tap Thursdays in Los Altos, Mtn. View

Courtesy of the Peelers’ Facebook page
The Peelers, shown here in action, have the distinction of being scheduled to play at both the Los Altos and Mountain View summer concert series.

The warm air will be crackling with the sounds of live music as both Los Altos and Mountain View launch summer...

Readmore

Comment

Letters to the Editor

Land purchase is best option for school district

The Los Altos School District Board of Trustees made a decision to pursue the purchase of an additional school site at its June 13 board meeting.

While we are excited about the possibilities for an innovative new school on this site, the purchase i...

Readmore

Spiritual Life

Islam's holy month of fasting, prayer and charity ends with joyful holiday

For the more than 1.6 billion Muslims around the world, Ramadan has begun.

Observed the ninth month of the Islamic calendar (this year beginning at sundown June 6 in the U.S. – dates vary slightly by country), Ramadan is a time of fasting, prayer and charitable activities. It is considered on...

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People

DR. BILL B. MAY

DR. BILL B. MAY

September 2, 1935 – June 6, 2016 Los Altos Hills 

Bill Bruce May, beloved husband, father, and grandfather, passed away peacefully at age 80 on June 6th, 2016, with his family at his side. He was born in Sturgis, South Dakota to parents John and Weltha May, and grew up on a ranch outside Stu...

Readmore

Schools

Kick, Lead, and Dream marks 10 years of inspiring youth

Kick, Lead, and Dream marks 10 years of inspiring youth

Megan V. Winslow/Town Crier
Campers at the Kick, Lead, and Dream summer camp pile on their coach, bottom, in green shirt. The relationships among campers and their coaches is a special element of the camp, which encourages positivity, leadership and good sportsmanship.

To the casual onlooker, the K...

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Stepping Out

End of 'Autumn'

End of 'Autumn'

Kevin Berne/Special to the Town Crier
Susan Greenhill and Mark Anderson Phillips star in “The Velocity of Autumn.”

TheatreWorks’ regional premiere of “The Velocity of Autumn” is slated to close Sunday at the Mountain View Center for the Performing Arts, 500 Castro St.

Written by Eric Coble, th...

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Obituaries

DR. BILL B. MAY

DR. BILL B. MAY

September 2, 1935 – June 6, 2016 Los Altos Hills 

Bill Bruce May, beloved husband, father, and grandfather, passed away peacefully at age 80 on June 6th, 2016, with his family at his side. He was born in Sturgis, South Dakota to parents John and Weltha May, and grew up on a ranch outside Stu...

Readmore

Magazine

Aging Matters: Take preventive steps to avoid slips and falls

Aging Matters: Take preventive steps to avoid slips and falls

Courtesy of silver sneakers
An exercise program like Silver Sneakers Fitness can help seniors with strength, balance and flexibility.

The statistics on seniors who slip and fall are startling. According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention:

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How knot too right


Photo By: Town Crier file photo
Photo Town Crier File Photo Los Altos students practice their writing skills from the early grades, avoiding the pitfalls of literacy outlined in Nick Thomas’ humorous column. Thomas suggests, “Let’s stamp out mixed meteors forever, and never spit another infinitive again.”

As the new school year approaches, I would like to undress you all today while disgusting a serious education problem facing this nation – the inability of the younger generators to write properly.

It’s a very disturbing trend, because there is a vast suppository of knowledge in the collective minds of today’s youth who are desperately in need of guidance to espresso themselves better.

As one of our grating vice presidents, Dan Quayle, once appropriatingly said, “Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things.”

I could not depress it any better than that.

So why do students have difficulty writing?

Well, let me play the devil’s avocado for a moment. Perhaps we could place the blame on teachers and our country’s broken education cistern. But this would just be adding a salt to injury, which really stings. Our educators are amongst the finest in the world, so I don’t believe we should be placing the problem at our teachers’ feats.

Alternatorly, we could ask: Are students too focused on afterschool extravehicular activities?

Perhaps we should also condemn the affluence of the movie industry. Today’s films focus on fantasy and violence, rather than educating an audience. And with prevalent themes of an erotic nature, has Hollywood been grossly negligée in this area?

While all of the above may be partly to blame, the real explanation may lie closer to home.

In reality, much of the fault (and I don’t think this is just a pigment of my imagination) rests with the parents – you know who you are. And if you don’t, modern forensic science can help with the aid of NRA genetic testing.

The simple fact is that today’s parents are often too busy to think about insuring their children’s academic success. Some stressed parents even resource to drinking. I personally know several who currently attend Alcoholics Unanimous.

As a result, the children suffer: They return home to empty houses, have to blow-wave their own TV dinners or eat junk food, then struggle alone to fabricate answers to difficult homework assignments. Where are the parents to warn that Cheetos never prosper!

So is it any wonder that kids neglect their studies and create mischief at school, even those who come from effluent families?

Students have always had a knack for irrigating their teachers, but today’s kids can be very disruptive. Just the other day, I read of a child who opened all the faucets in his school’s arrest room. The water damage was so severe, they had to evaporate the school. Honesty, this nautical behavior leaves me with Butterfingers in my stomach.

Students need guidance – emotionally and academically. Teachers and parents have a responsibility to enrage a student’s mind, and what better way to achieve this than developing writing skills and emphasizing the ability to repress one’s self clearly.

I know that teaching the rules of writing often goes down like a lead baboon, but they are essential tools for invective expression.

Let’s examine some basics.

Tenses: These often cause trouble, especially if you forget them when camping. But I digest.

Punctuation: No English teacher wants to send home students with conjunctionitis or have to perform a semicolonoscopy on a term paper rife with punctuation errors.

What about grammar, I hear you ask? Well, the old battle-ax has been living with us for seven years now and refuses to croak, but I digest again.

I think you can see what I’m incinerating here. No student likes to be prepositioned by a teacher. But developing writing skills can be a huge advantage when considering future career options.

After all, what kid wouldn’t like to become an extinguished American libel filmmaker like Michael Moron? Or a renounced vice president such as Joe Bidet? Or even a visionary inventor, such as Henry Forward?

So as the summer drawers to a clothes and students return to school, I invite them, their teachers and their parents to work together to make more young Americans legitimate. Let’s stamp out mixed meteors forever, and never spit another infinitive again.

(For impugning his writing skills, the author would like to acknowledge his 11th-grade English teacher, Miss Marla Props, a graduate of the Norm Crosby College of Electrocution.)

Nick Thomas has written for more than 200 magazines and newspapers, including the San Francisco Chronicle, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times and Christian Science Monitor. Email him at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

Submit a Letter to the Editor

The Town Crier welcomes letters to the editor on current events pertinent to Los Altos, Los Altos Hills and Mountain View. Write to us at 138 Main St., Los Altos 94022, Attn: Editor, or email editor Bruce Barton at bruceb@latc.com. Because editorial space is limited, please confine letters to no more than 200 words. Include a phone number for verification purposes. Anonymous letters will not be printed.

You can also have your say right here at losaltosonline.com – scroll to the bottom of any story to add a comment. 

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