Mind over matter

By Shannon Barry,

After strumming out the daily frustrations on my steel-string acoustic guitar last week, I looked forward to falling asleep while listening to music. Guitar in hand, I stood up and felt a surge of pain in my left knee. Then I instantly fell onto my bed.

There I lay for 10 long minutes, unable to get up. I was absolutely terrified. I felt a range of emotions, from grief to anger to acceptance, as I unsuccessfully attempted to move my leg.

Grappling with the pain and – above all else – my negative, unrealistic thoughts, I was eventually able to move my leg again. But it took patience, massaging my knee and slowly stretching it in different directions.

I was dealing with a rare condition I’ve had for quite some time. But nearing my 24th birthday, it was something I still haven’t fully acknowledged since the diagnosis and surgery.

I have synovial osteochondromatosis. A specialist informed me it was something that could require surgery every five to 10 years. It is a benign condition where the synovial lining of a joint undergoes nodular multiplication and fragments may break off from the synovial surface into the joint. There, the fragments may grow and calcify.

But before the surgery and even diagnosis, my leg had never completely shut down.

With advancing technological breakthroughs, I’m hopeful that in coming years more research will uncover less-invasive treatments.

But even with breakthroughs, coping with physical impairments is often a case of mind over matter. That’s where the issue of mental health plays such an important role.

The high rates of mental illness in this country are staggering. According to the U.S. Surgeon General, one in every five Americans experiences a mental disorder in any given year, and half of all Americans have such disorders at some time in their lives. May is Mental Health Month.

The media and entertainment industries often portray people with mental illnesses as dangerous, violent and unpredictable individuals. It may be hard to forget Paula Abdul’s recent memory lapse on “American Idol” and Britney Spears’ highly publicized hospitalizations.

Such examples shape the public’s perception that those who suffer from mental disorders are to be feared. But we need to overcome such stigmas.

Psychiatrists agree that those suffering from anxiety or depression should take their prescribed medications just as those with physical ailments, and should not be ashamed to do so.

It is important to remember that we are not the sum of our conditions. We must choose the best way to deal with them.

For me, it was mustering the strength – mentally and physically – to get my leg moving again. Although it is a struggle I must cope with for the rest of my life, I don’t plan to let it bring me down. In fact, it will help me grow stronger for the journey ahead.

Shannon Barry is a Town Crier staff writer. She can be reached at shannonb@latc.com.