By Traci Newell

When Los Altos resident Stacy Peña’s daughter comes home upset about a conflict with other girls at school, Peña is well-equipped to speak with her using language she will understand.

Peña and her daughter attended a four-week workshop at Santa Rita School earlier in the school year led by the Girls Leadership Institute. Currently a group of 15 Los Altos School District girls and their mothers participate in the series at Loyola School.

The Girls Leadership Institute, directed by Rachel Simmons and Simone Marean, hosts a national camp and workshops that teach girls assertive self-expression, emotional intelligence and conflict-management skills for success in leadership and life.

“There is a hidden culture of girls’ aggression in our schools that is widespread and painful,” Simmons wrote in her bestselling book, “Odd Girl Out” (Harcourt, 2002).

In recent years, Simmons and Marean have been on a mission to change the problem with girls. The Girls Leadership Institute has been helping girls across the country and as far away as South Africa, where Oprah Winfrey recently asked them to work with the school she sponsors.

Locally, parents invited Marean to conduct workshops for district girls and their mothers (or fathers). The workshops focus on empowering the mothers and daughters to handle difficult emotions and conversations.

“We teach and practice a lot of emotional intelligence,” Marean said. “It is important for girls to know and understand what they are feeling. I work with girls and parents to identify their range of emotions.”

Marean said the workshop spends time focusing on why girls bully each other in the ways they do. She said it is important to help the girls see that bullying girls hurts just as much as the physical bullying that happens among some boys.

“We work on practicing tools for healthy conflict,” Marean said, “so they understand that conflict can be part of a relationship.”

The workshop also concentrates on improving communication between the girls and their parents.

“One main goal is to give the family a common language,” Marean said. “I hope one of the main things they come away with is that the home is the place to practice healthy communication, conflict resolution and emotional intelligence. If they are communicating with their parents in a good way at home, that will translate with other girls.”

Peña said the workshops’ participatory format helped the girls apply the communication techniques they were learning.

“One of the things that was so great about it was we weren’t just sitting there and listening to her talk,” Peña said. “There was a lot of role-playing, which really brought the learning to life. It kept them engaged and having fun.”

Peña, a former LASD student herself, said that the principles taught in the workshop are applicable in other parts of her life, aiding her in solving conflicts with other members of her family.

“As a mother, former girl and self-appointed champion for raising a generation of girls who are confident resolvers of conflict, I can’t say enough good things about Simone and the Girls Leadership Institute,” Peña said. “She is a true inspiration to girls and moms alike, a very gifted instructor and facilitator who uses drama, role-playing, interaction and humor to encourage girls to be the best they can be.”

For more information on the local workshops, e-mail Peña at stacy@rainmakercommunications.com or Maureen Griffin White at maureen@cisco.com. For more information on the Girls Leadership Institute, visit www.girlsleadership.org.

Contact Traci Newell at tracin@latc.com.