By Jean Hollands

Dear CEO et al. We know that you live a precarious life. You walk the gangplank of great results or utter failure. You have to take the final step off the plank alone. You cannot hold on to anyone. Your company expects you to take

the step.

We know that some folks don’t understand. Facing the analysts, the board, the investor world, the banks or your stockholders is hard work. Your employees can’t always comprehend the duality of your position. They are not caught in the middle. You are.

About the famous balanced life style your company espouses - we know it’s hard to practice what you preach. You want your team to have a balanced lifestyle, and yet you really must go back on Friday night to make that offer or handle that delicate

situation.

We know you sometimes have to terminate your best friend. He has grown stale or she has not grown or he has grown out of touch with the current needs or she has grown cynical about the business. It’s hard to ask this person to leave the company you started together. Your friendship will never be the same.

If you fail, some will say it could have been your fault. Others may say you did not act quickly enough. Others will say you acted too quickly. Others yet will say you did not act at all. No one will say you had to do it. Not everyone will know the precipitating factors. No one will know the pain of it.

If you succeed, some will say you did not deserve it. Others will say you were lucky. Others yet will say that you receive an inappropriate income. No one will say it is just right. Few will say you earned it. Only you will know how hard it is to have your job.

We know that your family may suffer from your preoccupation. They will not understand the second family - the company - and the responsibilities there: the broken promises to mend, the storming supervisors, the bad press, the marketing VP and the engineering VP at it again, the referee work, the repair work, the begging work and the happy face required.

The company may not understand the family pain: your wife who does the children’s birthdays alone, the dinner she puts back in the fridge, the husband who entertains his mother from Germany alone because his CEO wife must attend the board meeting, and the strain of travel, the strain of separation, the strain of children who miss mommy or daddy or who don’t miss them anymore.

When you arrive home at 2 a.m. and everyone is sleeping and the dog does not even stir to greet you, when you wake in the morning and everyone is off to soccer games and dance practice and you are alone in the kitchen, wondering where they keep the eggs now, you begin to realize the conflicts. The refrigerator is new. You hadn’t heard about it. You see a leftover dinner in front, but you can’t find the eggs.

You know that no one said it was going to be easy. Whether you are C suite officer of a three-person company or a Fortune 50 company, it is sometimes hard. You don’t really want it to be easy. That wouldn’t be fun or challenging. But when you can’t even find the eggs? That’s hard.

Jean Hollands, CEO, Growth & Leadership Center, author of “Silicon Syndrome and Optimistic Organizations,” is a management coach and corporate team-builder. Write to GLC, 1451 Grant Road, Mountain View 94040.