By Rick Glaze
April 15, 2025 - The Dow Jones industrial average collapsed 1,000 points from its recent peak of 25,000 making it the most auspicious down day since January. Securities analyst Boris Kameroff cited weak economic reports from Chinese offshore drilling platforms in the Gulf of Mexico and slowing growth at Wal-Mart, the only retailer left in the United States. Kameroff made public his forecast for a drop in the popular average of 2,000 points this year, a more than 8 percent decline. Rumor has it he is privately predicting a 10 percent rise in the average but is required to predict a decline by the firm’s lawyers as a result of continuous consumer lawsuits. The investor class paid little attention, however, since the law was revised to require the stock market to go up 8 percent per year.
Meanwhile the 10-year bond yield retreated to 1 percent for the below 30-year-old investors, down to 4 percent for the 30- to 45-year-old holders and advanced to 15.25 percent for the older crowd. Since the retirement age was dropped to 45, more than 200 million generation X adults have retired, making most of them pretty darn glad the mandated bond yields are 15 percent and above.
Supreme Court Associate Justice Chelsea Clinton spoke to the United Armchair Workers Union retirees about the phenomenal success of Social Security reform. She blasted their forefathers for trying to reform a system that was really sound all the time.
Separately, it was reported that the last group of bridges have been deeded over to the Social Security system, and tollbooths will be completed by March. Now that all major highways and bridges are metered and the toll collections are streaming into the national retirement system, Clinton recommended lowering the retirement age to 42 - the suggestion met with overwhelming support from the Armchair workers.
Former rap star and current Federal Reserve Chairman Blinking Nickel came under fire and was forced to defend his academic credentials, insisting in a press release that he really did go to high school for two years. CBS News published a letter signed by his principal, Elvis Buckmeyer, which emphatically assured citizens that Nickel did attend classes. The letter was dated Jan. 10 of this year. Buckmeyer died two years earlier, causing a seeming contradiction. CBS is standing by its sources and The New York Times has assured all of its 63 subscribers that the letter is authentic. Clinton was not available for comment.
Rick Glaze is the president of Glaze Capital Management of Los Altos and a registered representative of and offers securities through First Allied Securities Inc.
