By Grace Acosta

Remember “Baghdad Bob,” Iraq’s Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf? He was the guy who spoke to journalists during the early days of the invasion of Iraq, denying any American presence in Baghdad, even as U.S. tanks approached the capital. Or, he’d brag that Saddam Hussein’s army would bring American troops to their knees, while machine-gun fire and heavy artillery rounds blasted the country unopposed by virtually anybody.

“Baghdad Bob” was hilarious. His delusional assessment of reality made him a walking parody of any government representative who tries to convince the public of something that isn’t even remotely true. You could just picture him with microphones shoved up to his chin, Black Hawk helicopters whirling around his head, proclaiming, “We’ve sent the infidel packing! Long live Saddam!” The man was basically a “Saturday Night Live” skit waiting to happen.

I suppose that in war and politics, it’s pretty easy to find yourself having to defend untenable positions. Take, for example, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez’ explanation of the controversial National Security Agency wiretapping program. Arguing at a Senate hearing that the wiretaps were both legal and necessary for our national security, Gonzalez also noted, “Our enemy is listening. And I cannot help but wonder if they aren’t shaking their heads in amazement at the thought that anyone would imperil such a sensitive program by leaking its existence in the first place, and smiling at the prospect that we might now disclose even more or perhaps even unilaterally disarm ourselves of a key tool in the war on terror.”

I’m not buying. First, I think the wiretapping program is clearly illegal, vis-à-vis the 1978 Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. Second, it may very well be necessary for national security, but “Trust me, it just is” is a weak cup of tea to drink if you want to justify breaking the law. Third, that it’s news to al-Qaeda that the American government, post-9/11, might be surveilling enemy operatives here in the U.S. is ludicrous. Osama bin Laden may be living in a cave and hooked up to a dialysis machine, but he’s not stupid, and it is insulting when Gonzalez dangles the carrot of fear in my face to encourage me to give our government a free pass on this issue.

I resist being frightened into action or reaction; I prefer to be inspired. I believe the Bush administration relies too heavily on tapping into our insecurities to state their case, whether it is WMDs to get us into Iraq, or an allegedly insolvent Social Security system. The Dubai Ports deal may not be as dangerous as it appears, but I don’t know how the president is going to sell it to an American public that under his tenure has become accustomed to respond principally to its worst fears.

Come to think of it, Bush may want to consider sending his vice president out on the topic of ports security. There’s been a lot of talk recently about Cheney being an excellent shot - except in one notably exceptional instance - and Bush’s poll numbers suggest that he can use someone with good aim speaking on his behalf. Cheney is not known to be especially forthcoming, but his recent hunting expedition may have been a life-altering experience for him. How about this, Mr. Vice President: If we promise not to mention quail, would you be willing to talk turkey?

Acosta is a Los Altos resident. You can contact her at noshoesplease@sbcglobal.net.