By Grace Acosta
Winston Churchill described human history as “one damn thing after another.” I admire his bull’s-eye assessment; I also respect him for having an affinity for pigs.
Taken in context with today’s headlines, Churchill’s quote is apt. Our planet is being bombarded by ODTAA: war, hurricanes, an inevitable avian flu pandemic. France resembles post-Rodney King trial L.A., and in Pakistan, there are three million displaced by the recent earthquake while U.N. officials despair over the onset of winter and weak donor response.
My personal life has also been ODTAA, but I won’t whine. My home is upright, my loved ones are alive and my dog is now baking himself in front of the heater dish that for the 21st century pet serves as a hearth.
But tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and if you know my columns, you are aware that Thanksgiving is the only holiday that I truly love. I simply can’t stand the idea that this year my gratitude might be predicated solely on the good fortune of not residing in Louisiana or Florida - though I will say that I am ever grateful that I was not born in Texas.
My personal ODTAA period has been onerous, and I have caved emotionally. I have succumbed to the idea that life is working against me, that the hapless rule the stars, and that integrity is a value shared among too few. I know this all to be untrue; however, my frustrations pull me into a world where I feel justifiably hurt and stretched beyond reasonable limits. Gratitude then becomes elusive, and I can’t seem to dig deep enough to find it.
And yet, gratitude is the only way. It is the only road to grace, and a top-tier antidote to worry. Gratitude can be tiny or huge, but its very existence - provided it isn’t merely a mental exercise - has always led me out of darkness.
When asked once about remaining inspired to continue his work, in the face of overwhelming ignorance and violence in the world, the Dalai Lama replied, “I think that my own life is so short, and that humanity will last over billions of years. This gives me great comfort.” Now, that’s what I call perspective, which is a path to gratitude, too.
Joining family and friends at the Thanksgiving table, I know that this year, I had to struggle for gratitude, but that’s fine. Anything valuable is worth fighting for, and in the end, I did manage to find it. I found it by not thinking about past and future so much. I found it by looking into Parker’s moony eyes, and hearing his thumping tail. I found it by listening to music. I found it by saying yes to all life circumstances, and then simply, symbolically, bowing my head. I found it in a puny, buried, peaceful place in my heart, and that was a surprise: gratitude awaiting my approach, ready to be ignited even as I lit the match with trembling hands. What a relief, what a blessing! It is a gift to know that wondrous things are sustained within; it is a joy to know that thanksgiving can be year-round. Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
