By Judith S. Duque

Q: The minute Halloween is over and the decorations are stored away for next year, I go into panic mode. AAAARGH! the holidays are almost here. I’ll be ready, but I’ll be soooooo tired and grouchy if the past few years are any example. How can I get my children to help more?

A: Because coping with the holidays is such a challenge for families, maybe parents should do as the stores do: plan ahead.

Here are a few thoughts: Make a list of everything you want and/or need to do before Dec. 25. Organize the list into doable chunks on your computer. (Since many of the preparations are yearly jobs, you’ll be ready for next year. Scary to think so far ahead, but you’ll be happier next year with this year’s organization.) Next, buy a calendar with big spaces for the months of November and December. Fill in those big spaces with the items on your list. Include parties and down times as well.

KEY: The visualization of 30 to 60 days on paper makes the time appear more controllable and, therefore, less stressful. (I did planning calendars for the family weddings, and I could actually feel my stress level go down.)

KEY: The work done in the home deserves the same respect as an office challenge would get.Look at the holidays as a “business challenge.” If this were a problem in the office, you would tackle it immediately.

KEY: If you are not a baker, buy the pies, cakes and cookies.

KEY: Remember what your children do best and ask them what they would like to do. With everything spelled out on the big calendar, they will see what needs to be done and respond - with some parental nudging, if necessary.

KEY: Shopping on Monday mornings during holiday time takes the sting out of the sensory overload.

KEY: Simplify!

KEY: If you’re rested and smiling, the holidays become what they’re supposed to be. Goodbye to the Bah Humbuggers!

Judy Duque is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Mountain View. She can be reached at jsduque@ pacbell.net or 941-1000.