By Jean Hollands

You may have a high intelligence quotient, but if your emotional quotient is low, you will have difficulty negotiating, influencing others or winning the rewards you deserve.

We measure your emotional intelligence by five categories: the ability to read others, the ability to soothe yourself, the ability to manage anger, the ability to know your impact on others and the ability to delay satisfaction.

1. The ability to read others: When you are speaking in a staff meeting, you recognize when others are angry, impatient or disappointed in you. You also can recognize when you are not getting through to others.

2. The ability to soothe yourself: When you lose the sale or receive hard feedback, you are able to handle the pain, correct your course, and move on. You can lose an account, and call the next one.

3. The ability to manage anger: Even when you feel abused, sabotaged or misunderstood, you are able to maintain your decorum and do reflective listening, give feedback and explain your frustration in ways others can hear it.

4. The ability to know your impact on others: You are able to distinguish who is on your side, who can champion for you, who is simply putting up with you, or who does not agree with your point of view.

5. The ability to delay satisfaction: You have your speech to the boss all memorized. He is called away, or chooses to postpone your meeting. You can patiently move to your next priority, knowing that you will be able to meet with him later. You can also postpone rewards for yourself if they are not practical in the moment.

Jean A. Hollands is founder and chairwoman of the Growth & Leadership Center in Mountain View. For more information, call 966-1144 or log on to www.glcweb.com.