By Judith S. Duque

Q: How can I get my 8-year-old twins to read more? Their teacher

says they are too smart to be so far behind in reading. He suspects them of being lazy. I think he’s right, but I’m tired of the daily battle. Any suggestions?

A: All parents will sympathize with the “daily battle,” be it getting the children up in the morning and out the door on time, or something more serious such as reading, which has far-reaching consequences. It is annoying to spend so much energy trying to get your kids to do what ultimately will serve them well in life.

After determing that there are no eye problems or learning disabilities, the 20- to 30-minute-a-day rule for reading is pretty much the norm.

Key: Use grandma’s rule: Work first, then play. As you implement a new environment for tackling this problem, it is very important that you believe in your strategy or else your children will continue to fight you.

Key: Children are intuitively in tune to their parent’s indecisiveness.

Key: Make up ways to get your children to read without their being aware of a parental plan.

Key: Logon to www.google.com and type in “jokes for kids.” Print out the jokes and play a game at dinner where each child reads a joke aloud.

Key: Pay attention to what interests your twins. If you have a sports fan, have him read a paragraph or two from the morning paper. For the television fan, have the child read the TV guide to you to find out what’s on before turning the television on.

Q: Do you think I am right in feeling concern for the loss of the traditional family dinner hour?

A: Perhaps the traditonal dinner hour isn’t as meaningful as it was, because of the changing family schedule, e.g., long day-care hours, two parents working or after-school activities. The tradition of a family dinner seven nights a week is a thing of the past for most.

Key: The traditional dinner hour provided a coming together of the family, which gave members an opportunity to reconnect with each other. Ultimately, how we think of ourselves comes from the interaction within our families.

Key: Since the dinner hour is a thing of the past for many, the task is to make a new tradition that replicates what the dinner hour provided.

Key: It is important for the family to continuously invent and integrate traditions that are meaningful to our lives today.

Judith S. Duque is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in Mountain View. She may be reached at 941-1000.