By Grace Acosta

I thought Zell Miller’s head was dangerously close to exploding when he spoke at the Republican National Convention early this month. Bitter and cantankerous, he reminded me of a man who might aim a loaded shotgun at kids who were cutting across his front lawn to get to school.

But the crowd loved him. When Miller accused his own party, the Democrats, of sacrificing national security due to an obsession with bringing down the commander-in-chief, men in the audience cheered like their quarterback had just scored a touchdown. Women applauded and beamed, the way I imagine I would if my husband were ever to admit that yes, he was completely wrong, and that he was very, very sorry indeed.

I give Miller the benefit of the doubt, and presume that his nastiness was heartfelt and sincere. He is genuinely disgusted with the Democrats and believes that metaphorically speaking, John Kerry would throw spitballs at our country’s enemies as a method of defense and containment. In fact, Miller is so hopping mad that he wants to challenge Chris Matthews to a duel because the host of MSNBC’s “Hardball” doesn’t appear to know what a metaphor is.

Gosh, seeing Miller jump to sabers and pistols on a talking point with a TV anchor makes me wonder what he would do if he were accidentally rear-ended in a parking lot or his house burned down.

But again, people love that kind of fiery rhetoric and often equate the display of brazen anger with the veracity of the argument. I don’t, though I admit it can be fun to watch someone who looks like he might burst into flames at any moment.

I just can’t bring myself to trust the man is all. I believe that truth is simple and economical, even dispassionate.

Truth is rarely advertised. It is often revealed, layer by layer, and varied interpretations abound because each person decides for himself where to look and when to stop digging.

Anger grabs your attention and definitely punctuates a sentence, but often, the most potent statement can be powerfully understated.

Dick Cheney is a man who understands this. With his neck jammed into his shoulders, he resembles a skulking KGB agent. But he can get away with the claim that a vote for Kerry guarantees another terrorist attack because he sounds so reasonable and detached while he is making it that you forget he is threatening you with imminent death if you vote against him.

Cheney looks like he resides in a darkened lair, but he sounds as guileless and precise as an accountant.

Listen, he deadpans, I’ve been crunching the numbers every which way, and the math always comes out the same: Vote Bush and live; vote Kerry and prepare to meet your maker at the hands of a suicide bomber.

Contrast that to Miller’s apoplectic speech delivery, and you can understand why a bemused John McCain joked, “Did he (Kerry) shoot his dog or something?”

Hmm … I wonder, because if that were the case, I am behind Miller 100 percent.

If someone shot my beloved Parker, you can bet there’d be hell to pay.