By Coralie Rogez

So you have the flowers, the cake, the dress, the invitations and the band all picked out.

You can perfectly imagine your walk to the altar to be your longest and happiest walk ever. When you close your eyes, it is as if magic dust has been sprinkled over the whole day.

Oh yeah, and you somehow managed to throw in the groom inside the picture - somehow you found time to figure out that little detail.

Many girls dream of their “fairy tale wedding” since the day they are born. Guys, on the other hand, have been known to take on a more relaxed attitude about all of the preparation leading up to the big day.

One imagines wrong. Times have changed.

Now, the idea of the bride being the sole organizer of the couple when it comes to planning the event is slowly but surely being left behind to something that was once done, back in the time of “mom and dad.”

But, if you are planning to be the groom in an upcoming wedding, you should realize that you have a major part in this event, so it is vital that you at least have an idea of what you want for this occasion and what is expected of you.

Michelle Hodges, a Wedding Consultant, at “I Do” Weddings and Events, in San Jose, said, “The engagement period is a time where you learn more about the person and his or her visions. This is the first real project done as a partnership. It is a real test for how you two will live your lives together.”

The question then becomes: What is expected of the bride and groom in today’s contemporary society?

Hodges goes on to say, “Today more and more couples are working together in planning their wedding. They are wanting to be more involved.”

“However, there are certain categories that the groom usually is more involved with, such as the photography and music,” she added. “The bride will focus more on creative details, such as color schemes and the flowers. Hiring a wedding coordinator can facilitate the process by relieving the couple from all of the leg-work and allowing them to focus on planning fun aspects, such as their honeymoon or gifts registry.”

Jeff Brudno, engaged to his longtime girlfriend Marianne Dunham, said, “We went and did everything together. For example, we picked out the flowers, the music and tasted the food together. It was important that both of us plan the wedding.”

Now maybe not all of us will be able to throw a lavish wedding similar to the one from the 1991 hit movie”Father of the Bride,” in which the wedding itself cost more than many homes in this country.

But with both the bride’s and groom’s participation, it certainly is not an impossible task to throw a memorable and unforgettable affair that both members of the wedding couple can look back at and say was something “fun and extraordinary.”

Hodges offers a piece of advice for all grooms: “Try to be patient, understanding, interested with the wedding and make sure to make the bride feel special and loved during this period of time.”

So, to all of the men out there who are afraid to plunge into the many details that go along with planning a wedding, you may want to sit down with the bride to discuss a game plan.

You never know, you may end up having fun with it. After all, this is your wedding - and hopefully your only wedding.

Men, roll with the times and get involved.