By Judith S. Duque
Keys To Parenting
Q: As the beginning of school approaches, I have a huge fear of what I call the “September Battle.” Right now, I don’t care much about the children’s need for sleep in order for them to do well in school, because I’m so dreading the battle of getting them up on school days. Do you have any thoughts on how to make the transition from late summer bedtime to earlier school bedtime so that my children will be able to get up at 6:30 instead of 8 or 9?
A: Thank you for asking! If you’ve been reading this column you know that I have thoughts. Some might wish I would keep them to myself - but being a mother, and a therapist, I am shameless in sharing them.
Now, as to your very legitimate, timely and right-on-target question, here’s what the research says: About a month before school begins, have your children start going to bed 15-30 minutes earlier each night. I don’t know the ages of your children or how late their summer bedtimes are, so you will have to design the cutback to fit your needs to have pleasant early morning wakeups.
Key: The importance of sleep for a child’s growth as well as attention span in the classroom cannot be denied. A 5-year-old needs 11 hours of sleep a day. Children 6-11 years old need 9.5-11 hours of sleep.
Key: If there is an age gap in your family, and the younger ones whine about the older ones’ later bedtimes, be firm and tell the younger ones what a wonderful opportunity it is for them to “get cozy” in bed with two or three books. If you can see your way to lie with your child for a few minutes or read even one book with him, you’ll be on your way to easier morning wakeups.
Key: Consult with your child and ask how they would handle the challenges of going to bed earlier and getting up easily. Children thrive on consultation and are amazingly creative.
Key: The time you spend on the problem now, before school begins, will pay dividends come the first days of school. It might even go so smoothly you’ll wonder why you ever asked the question.
Q: Are there any good parenting classes in this area?
A: Yes! Systemic Training for Effective Parenting has been around for more than 20 years, and more than 3 million parents are using its principles. STEP’s goal is for parents to raise children who are happy, healthy, confident, cooperative, responsible, loving and lovable. Call me to find out when and where.
Here’s a UBI (aka a Useless Bit of Information): Teens loitering around the entrances to a shopping mall in New South Wales, Australia, have moved on without a confrontation. According to The Wall Street Journal, the Warrawong Westfield shopping mall began playing Bing Crosby and installed pink fluorescent lights that highlighted pimples.
Judith Duque is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice in Mountain View. She welcomes questions and feedback at jsduque@pacbell.net or 941-1000 or in the market.
