By Kimberly Burns
Spiritual Life - Page 22
Stepping off the corporate ladder after 19 years with IBM was much like getting a divorce; but “there was a peace about it,” said John Benza, director of Ministry Resources for the First Baptist Church of Los Altos.
In July 1981, with a bachelor’s degree in computer science from Iona College, Benza married his college sweetheart Debbie and started as a systems programmer with IBM.
“That’s the cool job, because the (computer) brain doesn’t function without you,” he said.
He established a clear-cut goal: to climb the corporate ladder, doing whatever it took within a degree of flexibility. He wanted IBM to use him as they saw fit.
Benza told his colleagues “the hardware has been delivered” to announce the birth of his son, Jesse, Oct. 31, 1994. Being a father added responsibilities at home, but didn’t slow Benza’s career down. In the 19-year span, the family relocated 10 times, finally settling in Palo Alto.
By early 1999 and the start of the dot-com boom, Benza managed the Colorado data centers of the International Internet delivery for IBM global services. This position required him to travel two weeks a month. Each trip brought tears and pleas from Jesse, begging him not to go. Benza had always believed his role as husband and father was “to be the breadwinner and the ‘heat shield’ for the home front.” Now he was beginning to question if he was doing just that.
On July 17 of that same year, Benza and his family traveled to a combined family reunion and 40th birthday party for his wife. During the celebration, he found himself holding an emergency conference call while their friends and family sung “Happy Birthday” to Debbie. At that moment, he thought, “this is not a healthy lifestyle.”
Not long after, he heard Hans Finzel, one of the leaders of the Conservative Baptists of America deliver a message that defined how Benza felt. “When you climb the ladder of your life and you get to the top, you don’t want to find out you leaned it against the wrong wall.”
Benza had attained a position of importance; he was financially secure; but he realized that our value is not determined by what we have, but who we are. “Character is all that matters. Who and what you are to your family. If I gain everything I seek, but lose my family, what have I become?”
Many sleepless nights passed before Benza knew God was calling him. He felt he’d been asked to follow His plan, but wasn’t sure what that plan was, or if he wanted to take it.
He did know that he was not the husband he dreamed he’d be or the father he’d idealized himself to be. He wasn’t allowing time for God to use him. He thought of Jesse and what, if anything, he had to pass onto him, “We can only pass on values to our children.”
Benza knew God was pressing him to change. When he realized this, the path opened up. Seeking counsel from his pastor, Benza told him all the things he couldn’t do for the church, “I can’t be a preacher; I can’t be a teacher; what I am, is a good administrator.” That is exactly what the church needed for their renovation project.
As for the future, Benza thinks of Jesse and tears spring to his eyes. “I want him to be a man of God. A man who values his relationship to God and seeks to serve Him in anything and everything he chooses to be - whether it’s a barber or lawyer or a janitor. As long as he puts God first,” said Benza.
COURTESY OF JOHN BENZA
John Benza, with his son Jesse, realized a few years back that his business was depriving him of some of life’s precious moments.
