By Jean Hollands
Jean on the Job
New York is a wonderful place. Nine of us from our company presented two Bully Broad Boot Camps there last week, at the request of Candice Bergen, and to be shown on Oxygen Cable in July.
New York’s was a hustling, bustling, courteous, quiet crowd. The streets were clean, the park was immaculate and the policemen and policewomen were charming. The cabbies were fast and furious.
We held our seminar next to Madison Square Garden, in a beautiful conference center on the 22nd floor of the McGraw-Hill building. We could see bridges, skyscrapers and the park. Thirty women gathered each day to share their political and professional stories. And the camera caught every nuance.
Bergen shared her views, observed, and then interviewed me on camera for 40 minutes. She was charming. I have discovered that she is one of the most beloved women in show biz. Everyone admires her. Having now been in the presence of Oprah Winfrey, Shirley MacLaine, Katy Couric and Diane Sawyer, I can say that Bergen was, indeed, amazingly sweet. Forgive my name-dropping, but I was trying to make a comparison.
In the popular series “Murphy Brown,” she portrayed a rather tough woman with some distinct bully broad tendencies. She claimed it was just a role, and I now believe her. The role she played is still endearing to her audiences. She explained why. It is an explanation I share and teach and preach on a daily basis to intimidating people. Here it is:
Murphy Brown demonstrated by the end of every show that she had a flaw, weakness or vulnerable spot. This made her a lovable character whom we could forgive when she was a bully.
We preach that every intimidator in the world must have or take the opportunity to show his or her weak spots at some point in his or her interaction with others. For bully broads, we ask them to do it before the end of every show of their own - maybe a meeting, a day, an off-site, a sales call or a board meeting. It is quite all right to show you are not just a human being, but you are also a human doing!
Bergen told me that she was amazed, even overwhelmed, at the roomful of beautiful, bright, articulate women at the Bully Broad Boot Camp. They’d come from South Carolina, Washington D.C., Georgia, New York, Texas, California and points beyond. Most were vice presidents.
Here are some of the comments from the women:
“I learned I am not alone. Many wonderful women just never got the art of political savvy.”
“I am hopeful now. I just need to change 3 percent of me and I’m OK.”
“It is wonderful to be in a room with so many honest and direct women who know they need to turn down the volume.”
“I learned some techniques which will help me to be less intimidating. Who wants to scare people?”
Remember Murphy’s Law (Murphy Brown’s, that is): Show some of your own human failings if in fact your position, your height, your voice or your action-oriented style can intimidate your friends and colleagues.
Jean A. Hollands, CEO, Growth & Leadership Center, author of a new book, “Same Game Different Rules - How to Get Ahead Without Being a Bully Broad, Ice Queen or ‘Ms. Understood,’” was voted Business Woman of the Year in 1986 and 1996. Write to GLC, 1451 Grant Road, Mountain View 94040.
