By Dave MacKenzie
Commentary
There has been a recent spate of well-known writers being accused of plagiarizing. Unfortunately, not one word of the stolen material was mine. Have you any idea how it feels not having your scribbling worthy of plagiarizing? This can soon lead to what is called “writer’s block.” Yes, I know what some of you are saying behind my block: “Take the hint, Buster, and put down that pen for good.” Not quite yet, pal.
No, I’ve decided to write a column wherein nearly every word is plagiarized and so credited. This approach relieves me of the depression I get when, once again, what I write does not become the grist of another’s maul (and with good reason).
So I’ve gathered together some observations on the writing profession by those who did not always get a rejection slip.
“Personally, I enjoy writing even if it is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money” (Jules Renard). On the other hand, “No man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money” (Samuel Johnson). To this discussion, Irvin S. Cobb says, “If writers were good businessmen they’d have too much sense to be writers.”
Some writers’ thoughts on plagiarizing: “Immature artists imitate. Mature artists steal” (Lionel Trilling). “If you copy from one author, it’s plagiarism. If you copy from two it’s research” (Wilson Mizner).
It’s a blessing that I’m too lazy to write a book. Every 10 years I get an urge to jot something down. I’m cured by visiting a large bookstore. I come away convinced everything must have already been published. Home, Scotch in hand, I congratulate myself on insight and feel much better.
“The difference between the right word and nearly right word is the same as that between lightning and a lightning bug” (Lillian Hellman). “After all, the wastepaper basket is the writer’s best friend” (Isaac B. Singer). “To write simply is as difficult as to be good” (Somerset Maugham). “I love being a writer- what I can’t stand is the paperwork” (Peter De Vries). “Only when one has lost all curiosity about the future has one reached the age to write an autobiography” (Evelyn Waugh). “With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the paragraphs” (James Thurber).
I end this column with a few plagiarized goodbyes.
“Have a nice day” (accredited to a Hester Peckinpaw in 1846 as she watched the Donner Party tackle the Sierra Nevada).
“Stay well” (Alan Paton from his book “Cry the Beloved Country”).
“Wishing you all the best of good buys” (Paul Kangas, NPR’s National Business Report).
“See you ’round like a doughnut” (Loaf DuPont, owner of DuPont’s Dirty Dozen Donut Shop, Pierre, S.D.).
Author’s thanks for all the writer’s quotations to James Charlton who edited “The Writer’s Quotation Book,” Pushcart Press.
Also: “Goodnight, David,” “Goodnight, Chet.”
Dave MacKenzie is co-founder of the Town Crier and a Los Altos Hills resident. Donations to his defense fund are greatly appreciated.
