By From the Health Services Center at Foothill College

1. Quick involvement. Comes on strong, claiming, “I never felt loved like this by anyone.” Pressures you for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.

2. Jealousy. Excessively possessive, calls constantly or visits unexpectedly.

3. Controlling behavior. Interrogates you intensively about whom you talked to and where you were, checks mileage on the car, keeps all the money, insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.

4. Unrealistic expectations. Expects you to be the perfect person and to meet their every need.

5. Isolation. Tries to cut you off from family and friends, deprives you of a phone or car, tries to prevent you from holding a job.

6. Blames others for problems. It’s always someone else’s fault if anything goes wrong. Feels like everyone is out to get them.

7. Blames others for feelings. Says, “You are hurting me by not doing what I tell you,” or “You make me angry,” instead of “I am angry.”

8. Hypersensitivity. Is easily insulted about injustices that are a part of life.

9. Cruelty to animals and children. May expect children to do things way beyond their ability, or tease them until they cry.

10. Verbal abuse. Constantly criticizes you, or says cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names.

11. Sudden mood swings. Switches from sweet and loving to explosively violent in a matter of minutes.