By Jean Hollands
Jean on the Job
The University of California at Los Angeles recently conducted a landmark study on stress in women. The study, led by Dr. Shelley Taylor, determined that much of the major work on stress had been conducted with male subjects. Of course, most of the stressed executives in the last several decades have been men. But women are now catching up, with increased responsibility and the accompanying anxieties.
With the new research, we learn that women handle stress very differently from men. Men still seem to be relieving stress with the fight-or-flight response. The testosterone gets pumped up when they are anxious, and the instinct is to fight or flee. Fighting on the job, however, is not well received, so they generally flee - to their own emotional treehouses - to think, soul-search and decide what to do next.
Women, on the other hand, according to the study, do two unusual things - they “tend and befriend.” When women are stressed they move toward caregiving and connecting with friends from whom they get relief. This emotional soothing increases the production of the hormone oxytocin, which reduces stress.
This is why husbands hear their wives on the telephone talking to their pals about their latest dilemma. This is why women can talk to girlfriends about men and bosses and colleagues and just about everything.
Laura Cousino Klein, professor of biobehavioral health at Pennsylvania State University and a member of the UCLA study research team, believes that it’s rare for a female of any species to leave her children to fend for themselves while she takes on an aggressor; females are more likely, during a time of crisis, to protect their children and bond with other females. The oxytocin released as part of the stress response in a woman actually buffers the fight-or-flight response and produces a calming effect.
Under stress, men continue to produce testosterone in high levels. This actually reduces the oxytocin.
The fact that men and women respond differently to stress has major implications in the workplace. Much work remains to be done in the study of crisis response in the genders, but we do see some trends emerging.
Research at the local Growth & Leadership Center shows that the highest executive women who act like men have fewer friends; thus, they release less oxytocin. These frustrated women then get stressed and spend time alone - like their male colleagues. When a woman says she is too busy to go out with girlfriends or seems to have no allies at work with whom she can vent, she faces the same jeopardy as a man who hasn’t the resources to give him feedback or encouragement.
Women who tend and befriend on the job are not completely stress-free. They have another inherent liability: They still take things too personally. This may explain why some folks think that women employees are higher-maintenance than their male counterparts. If women thicken their skins a little, and if they can maintain the tend-and-befriend antidote to stress, they will have an easier time in the world of decision making.
Interesting facts emerging from the study lead to the conclusion that if a woman has at least nine friends, she will live 60 percent longer than her colleagues. Widows with friends do not get the accompanying diseases after a mate dies. Studies also reveal that social ties tend to reduce the risk of diseases by lowering blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol.
Women who relieve stress with friends are ahead in the stress department. To have allies on the job, however, they must be discreet, political and willing to set boundaries with friends, both on and off the job. Oxytocin soothes, but it is not sold over the counter. Its production can be stimulated by tending the office staff, bringing in bagels and offering up a thank-you card now and then. Men, however, may have to continue with the deep breathing and transcendental meditation to overcome their stress.
