By Charlotte K. Jarmy

Reflections

Last month I gave myself permission to vent my rage because of the horrors of September 11. Now that we are embroiled in a long war with American troops’ lives at stake, I need to rein in my anger and dwell on the blessings that give us hope.

It helps to be surrounded by the breathtaking beauty of autumn, so gloriously expressed in nature giving us a last hurrah before the deep sleep of winter. The very air brings us the fragrance of Thanksgiving, the word itself encompassing both the emotion and the moral imperatives of the holidays. The yearly ingathering of family and friends will help us find the comfort and the illusion of peace in our perilous times.

The blessing of family, even as small as ours, remains the most powerful of all reminders of joy and delight. My grandson, Jeremy, asks if the story I wrote for him will be published. I crossed my fingers and replied, “I sure will try, Jeremy.” I’m hoping that he will develop the creativity we all hope for in our young people.

Friends, old and new, certainly deserve my blessings. I have friends from so many years back who grow more like family every year. We share all our news, good and bad, and make sure we have a commitment to gathering together as often as possible. Other friends share their birthdays and anniversaries with what seems like the entire community. What a great opportunity to share all the changes in our lives: a new job, a new grandchild, a return to good health.

I bless the companionship and good humor I find with friends in my water aerobics class. We tell jokes, promise to e-mail important stories and bond wonderfully all the time we are making that water move!

How many seniors stay close to their college friends? I remember the years when we could not make cross-country phone calls because of the expense. Now we often do for the pleasure of hearing each others’ voices. The “girls” often enjoy it as well when I send copies of my columns. There have been changes as the years move on, but I will always bless these friends who knew me as a dedicated student and a girl looking for a reason to leave New York. I found the reason when I married my first husband.

Sadly there are times when we must commiserate with those who have suffered terrible losses, as a friend did when she lost her daughter on September 11. We all have our memories that recall past and present times and help to turn the darkness to light again for a while.

Close family becomes necessary to happiness. Never can I leave out my dear brother, Martin, who is like an anchor in my life. My mother was right when she said, “You and your brother are one.”

I bless Judy Manton, who has helped me return to my second book through her skill with our computers. I bless my doctors who understand my anxious nature and put up with me. I bless my students who have joined me in the search for creativity in writing. I value my friend, Cathy, who embodies all the virtues of a good neighbor and a good person.

Most of all, I bless my husband, who defines love in all its infinite possibilities. We are lucky to have found each other.

With hope for a more peaceful world, I wish you all a happy holiday season.

Jarmy’s column is published the third week of the month. Send comments and suggestions to her c/o editor Bruce Barton at bruceb@latc.com.