By Elizabeth Cloutman
Jean Hollands’ ‘Same Game, Different Rules’ offers women managers tips for making the workplace succeed
In an era where corporations often merge and business focuses shift, collaboration and teamwork between management and employees is essential in keeping a company strong and functional. Unfortunately, the reality of the workplace as a struggle for power remains, and women executives are sometimes as likely as men to become a “one-person team.”
Jean Hollands, founder of the Growth and Leadership Center, a corporate psychology firm in Mountain View, said she believes women have a natural gift for collaboration. However, in the drive for success, they can sometimes lose track of this skill and become what she calls “bully broads” - energetic, assertive, capable and successful perfectionists - “completely misunderstood by their friends and colleagues.” Unfortunately, these gifted women can find their careers at a dead end because they are seen as bullies.
“The sordid truth? No one likes a bully,” Hollands said. “Even so, in today’s business climate, many men get away with it. Women almost never can. … It’s not quite fair. We hold a higher standard for women in high places.”
To help these “bully broads” and those who work with them, as well as women just beginning their corporate rise, Hollands has written a new book, “Same Game, Different Rules: How to Get Ahead Without Being a Bully Broad, Ice Queen or ‘Ms. Understood.’”
Hollands said she was inspired to write the book because she had seen hundreds of gifted women in her executive coaching classes who had been referred by their Silicon Valley corporations for intimidating behavior that was derailing their careers.
“I want to see women in high places. (Women) have so many assets,” Hollands, a licensed counselor, said. “We can multitask, we can read situations, we’re team-oriented, but we’ve been in business for only about 100 years. We don’t have many role models.”
The term “bully broad” might sound sexist to some, Hollands said; but after she and her associates tested the phrase for 18 months, these were “the only two words that seemed to evoke the primal response we were looking for. Everyone, even those who hated the words, knew what we were talking about.”
“Bully broads” produce profits for their corporation, but because they are perfectionists, they are demanding of themselves and everyone around them. Their insecurity can turn into anger, impatience and hypervigilance. Frustrated employees may consciously or unconsciously sabotage their efforts - or quit. Even their superiors find “bully broads” intimidating and may hesitate to confront them until staff turnover becomes a serious issue.
In her book, Hollands encourages “bully broads” to let go of the idea of total control, admit they are vulnerable, be more willing to listen and learn to apologize. To do otherwise is to risk a career. “(Women) in the top board positions both give and take critical feedback, and maintain lightness and humor about themselves.”
Hollands has developed 25 rules to help “bully broads” get back on track, including “Listen up until you are about to throw up,” “People will sabotage you if they can’t confront you” and “Perfectionism kills.”
Each chapter of “Same Game, Different Rules” addresses one of the rules and includes a case study and suggestions for applying the rule for not only the “bully broad,” but also for “everywoman” - a woman executive on the rise - and for people who must work with “bully broads.”
Having been both an IBM executive and a marriage counselor, Hollands said she understands the issue of power. She also admits she is a “recovering bully broad.”
Jean Hollands’ “Same Game, Different Rules” is published by McGraw-Hill. The book is available in bookstores, at the Growth and Leadership Center, 1451 Grant Road, Suite 102, in Mountain View, and online at any of three Web sites: glcweb.com, Amazon.com or Barnes&Noble.com.
For more on the Growth & Leadership Center, call 966-1144.
