By Clyde Noel

A Side of Clyde

My friends know I enjoy a glass of red wine before dinner, so the other day they gave me a nice white T-shirt splattered with the words on the chest, “Forgive Me - for I have Zinned.”

People wear logoed clothing for many reasons: for fashion, a source of identity or to make a statement. Logos have quietly crept onto our clothing without any input from us. Some statements lead to humor and some slogans hurt. After last year’s election, little tikes wore T-shirts that said:

“My grandma voted in Palm Beach and all I got was this lousy president.”

It seems there are times when we want our clothing to tell strangers something about us. When someone walks around in a Los Altos fashion T-shirt in Paris, it seems logical they are from Los Altos. Neighbors would walk up and a conversation would start. I picked up a Los Altos Hills fashion T-shirt at Dennis Rich Fine Clothing and no one has commented on the shirt yet. I’m sure the next time I walk around Boston no one will ask, “Where did you get that shirt?”

Clothing manufacturers try to keep us in stitches. If there’s no swipe, stripe or embroidery on your shirt, it’s going to be on your shorts. You have to be an athlete or play for an organization when you buy a T-shirt. You become a member of team Nike, Adidas, Patagonia, Reebok or L. L. Bean.

Frankly I stopped wearing anything with a professional sports logo. You wear a shirt with 49ers, Giants or Warriors and you help promote the fat cats who sign contracts for $125 million and they don’t thank you.

There is nothing wrong with wearing logos, even if you are not paid to wear them. Frankly, it is almost impossible to avoid them on any sports apparel. When you buy a sports T-shirt, you have to be a fanatic fan.

Clothing companies have made a heap of money, thinking we are anxious to be labeled. We will be happy to wear any manufacturer’s logo because it’s the way we feel. There’s the Old Navy Girl shirt that is practical, but I bet the lady would prefer a logo like:

“I’m Looking for Mr. Right; I’d settle for Mr. Wealthy.”

Corporate logos are in vogue. Everyone in Silicon Valley notices friends wearing clothing with their company logo. They want people to know where they work.

Gone are the days of cheaply constructed see-through white T-shirts with a company’s logo on it. Pull up Hewlett-Packard’s Web site and you can purchase over the Web several shirt styles. Today’s company attire is top quality fashion.

Emblems on clothing don’t always represent obvious logos. Dress shirts display the classic alligator, a penguin or the big dog. Instead of the big dog logo, I would prefer my T-shirt to say: “My dog can lick your dog.”

Sometimes the public doesn’t read what the wearer hopes. It is still our choice to put what we want on the front of our T-shirt. There are days when “A Hangover is the Wrath of Grapes.” or “My Wild Oats have Turned to Shredded Wheat.”

Comedy T-shirts still keep me in stitches. One of the more amusing statements I remember went like this: “Police Station Toilet Stolen. Cops have nothing to go on.”

Clyde Noel is a longtime contributor to the Town Crier.